• PSAudios 3.4. The Wealth of Craytians

    Doctor Who
    Paul Monk and Martin Penny star in

    The Wealth of Craytians
    By Lissa Levesque, produced by Steven Alexander

    "They reckon the average lifespan of a world in The War is about three generations. Enough time for the people who took them into The War and every descendent they would ever personally meet to die in luxury."

    "That's quite cynical, even for deep space."

    A war without end and battles without meaning, fought by troops without fear and generals without conscience. Investigating a confrontation between two ages-old empires, The Doctor and Ed become entangled in the insane machinations of people with somewhat extraordinary ideas about how best to win The War...

    When two battleships are locked in a nervous stand off, the Doctor and Ed become pawns in a game where the first ones to blink will live to see their failure. But when death is cheaper than life, it isn't always easy to tell success from failure.


    Download PSAudios - 3.4. The Wealth of Craytians - Trailer.mp3

    Episode 1

    Download PSAudios - 3.4. The Wealth of Craytians - Episode1.mp3

    Episode 2

    Download PSAudios - 3.4. The Wealth of Craytians - Episode2.mp3

    Cast List
    The Doctor - Paul Monk
    Edward Bradley - Martin Penny
    Shroon Captain - Steve Alexander
    Craytian Captain - David Barnes
    Shroon No.1 / Computer - Simon Hart
    Man 1 / Crewman - Paul Clement
    Man 2 / Guard - Si Hunt
    Treevor - Phillip Madeley

    Written By Lissa Levesque
    Directed and Produced by Steven Alexander

    Originally Released Part One Saturday 13th June 2009, Part Two Saturday 20th June 2009

    (click for larger versions)
    CD Cover

    CD Sleeve

    CD Back


    "The big idea was something which came to me as a Peter Jones insert from Hitch Hiker’s," Lissa explains. "I thought it had something but was too big a story to actually tell. What worked in thirty seconds wouldn’t fit in fifty minutes. So I took inspiration from another bit of Hitch Hiker’s and told a tiny little bit of the story focusing on a couple of guys in an awkward situation."

    Lissa on the two captains: "My thoughts on the two captains are a young Leslie Philips (not nearly as slow as his Dr Knox in those forgettable BFs) for the Shroon captain. He's the baddie but (almost) every line is smooth and said with a smile. He's having his fun because he's thoroughly amoral, knows he's going to survive when everyone else dies and he's about to become rich.

    "The other captain should be a pretty decent chap - I had Glyn Owen from Blake's 7 in mind (Leylan in Space Fall). He's still basically military though - he's got a job to do and it's his duty, however weary he feels about doing it."

    This was originally slated as a Nick and Rob adventure but as Dave Tudor was not available for some of the recording sessions it was changed to an Edward Bradley adventure.

    The first recording for Wealth of Craytians was on 15th November 2008. Two microphones were used at this recording. One of them worked out fine, but between the laptop and the mic half of the lines came out rather fuzzy. After much wailing and gnashing of teeth, a re-recording was scheduled on 6th December 2008 and the full story was finally recorded.

    This was the last recording before the new Super Microphone (known as Yeti) was purchased, to reduce the risk of disasters and provide crystal-clear sound. However, even the Yeti was not foolproof as the recording for Massanicassa was to show.

    The edit of the completed story ran to 35 minutes in the second half and some serious editing had to be carried out. However there was some debate as whether it would be better to leave it without editing. The run time wavered from 31 minutes, back to 34 minutes before finally settling at 31:51.

    Quote Unquote

    THE DOCTOR: Why haven't you fired?


    ED: How many people are on this ship?

    CAPTAIN: A couple of thousand perhaps. I left the paper work to Number 1. (beep) Computer – current headcount.

    COMPUTER: Two thousand three hundred and sixty four point seven five men.

    ED: Eh? How can you have point-seven-five of a man?

    CAPTAIN: We have a number of women on board.


    THE DOCTOR: Why haven't you fired?


    CAPTAIN: (interrupting) A word in my ready room, young chap. Thank you ever so much for your time, Lionel. You can go back to your dials now.

    CREWMAN: Yes sir. Thank you sir. My name isn’t Lionel sir.

    CAPTAIN: Of course it is. Lionel with the dials.

    CREWMAN: You had him shot last week sir.

    CAPTAIN: Yes, well, you keep your eyes on those dials and out of mischief then Lionel, or Lionel’s death will have been in vain. My ready room. Not you, Lionel.


    ED: Um… they… all swap ships?

    DOCTOR: Same problem, different corridors. Next.

    ED: Erm… they find a better way to sort out their problems and the two captains fight man to man, stripped to the waist and armed with sticks?

    DOCTOR: That wouldn’t solve… stripped to the waist? That wouldn’t solve the big problem. It would just be weird.

    ED: It’s how they do it in films.

    DOCTOR: Right. Another idea – preferably not involving sweat or nudity.


    DOCTOR: Why haven't you fired?

    Listener Response

    Excellent stuff so far - great idea for an unusual story, Lissa, and really enjoyed all the lovely interactions and language - especially the betting guys and the computer stuff. Congrats to Steve for his superbly smarmy captain - a sort of conglomerate of Peter Mandelson, Paxman and touches of Henry Gordon Jago there I think. Jon Masters

    I listened to this in the car and everyone involved in the production has done an awesome job. The music, the effects and the little ambient beeps are all fantastic. I thought I'd squirm self-consciously throughout but I enjoyed it as much as someone with a vested interest is allowed, under English law, to do. Lissa

    I have listened to The Wealth of Craytians part 1 and I thought it was brilliant. It was well written and acted, Steve was brilliant as the captain it was totally different to Rob, and the music and effects were fantastic. I cannot wait for episode 2. CyberChris

    It's the first time I've ever listened back on a performance without cringing! David Barnes

    Brilliant - like everybody else, I really enjoyed the brainstorming sequence (particularly Paul's "I'll put a fluffy cloud round that"). The opposing (well, sort of opposing) Captains stole the show (yes, stole - when you take something without killing them first) but everybody really got a chance to shine, it was really entertaining. Andrew Curnow

    • This story was consequently one of two adventures this season to be recorded over six months before release, the other being The Kalrexi Mutation
    • The part of Dooris is the smallest credited role ever in a Planet Skaro audio, with one word. It was played by Simon Rayner, and is his only part to date. Even though the part is credited in the script, however, it is not credited on the CD sleeve
    • The part of Crewman is the role recorded by the largest number of different people, since four people recorded all the lines before a usable version was reached.
    • The CD bonus adventure for this story, Opium of the Masses, was written and submitted as a short story, but adapted into a script by Si Hunt when it was felt it would work best in this form
    • The title is a pun on The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith- a written account of economics at the dawn of the Industrial Revolution.

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    Next: PSAudios 3.5. The Kalrexi Mutation
    Previous: PSAudios 3.2. The Hand of Peace
    Index: Season 3

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