The Worst Song Lyrics You've Ever Heard

[Pip Madeley]

Seeing as there's recently been a vote on the top 10 worst lyrics in pop - Taxing Lyrical - I thought it'd be nice to see what the populous of PS think...

#1 was Des'ree with her hit Life...

I don't want to see a ghost
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
Watch the evening news

#2 was Snap's Rhythm is a Dancer

I'm as serious as cancer
When I say rhythm is a dancer

#3 Razorlight - Somewhere Else

And I met a girl
She asked me my name
I told her what it was

#4 ABC - That Was Then But This Is Now

More Sacrifices than an Aztec priest,
Standing here straining at that leash,
All fall down,
Can't complain, mustn't grumble,
Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble

#5 was Bono and the Edge's Elevation

I've got no self control,
Been living like a mole now,
Going down, excavation,
High and high in the sky,
You make me feel like I can fly,
So high,
Elevation

#6 Toto - Africa

The wild dogs cry out in the night,
As they grow restless longing for some solitary company,
I know that I must do what's right,
Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti.

#7 Oasis - Champagne Supernova

Slowly walking down the hall,
Faster than a cannonball,
Where were you when we were getting high?

#8 Duran Duran - Is There Something I Should Know?

And firey demons all dance when you walk through that door,
Don't say you're easy on me, you're about as easy as a nuclear war.

#9 Human League - The Lebanon

Before he leaves the camp he stops,
He scans the world outside,
And where there used to be some shops,
Is where the snipers sometimes hide.

#10 Black Sabbath - War Pigs

Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses

They're all pretty poor. Do you know of any other crap lyrics?

[Milky Tears]

Snap's Turbo B was The Kings of Piss-Poor lyrics.

'The Power' is just as bad as 'Rhythm Is A Dancer'

Like the crack of the whip I snap attack
Front to back in this thing called rap
Dig it like a shovel rhyme devil
On a heavenly level
Bang the bass turn up the treble
Radical mind day and night all the time
Seven to fourteen wise divine
Maniac brainiac winning the game
I'm the lyrical Jesse James

Def Leppard -'Animal'

Cry wolf, given mouth to mouth
Like a movin' heartbeat in the witching hour
I'm runnin' with the wind, a shadow in the dust
And like the drivin' rain, yeah, like the restless rust
I never sleep

Starship's 'We Built This City' (Bernie Taupin's finest work)

Someone's always playing corporation games
Who cares they're always changing corporation names
We just want to dance here, someone stole the stage
They call us irresponsible, write us off the page

Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, don't you remember
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

It's just another Sunday, in a tired old street
Police have got the choke hold, oh, then we just lost the beat

Who counts the money underneath the bar
Who rides the wrecking ball into our guitars
Don't tell us you need us, 'cos we're the ship of fools
Looking for America, coming through your schools

Peter Cetera's 'Glory of Love'

It's like a knight in shining armor
From a long time ago
Just in time I will save the day
Take you to my castle far away

2 Unlimited's 'Faces'

Faces
All around different faces I see
Some are happy, some in misery
They express joy and pain
No two faces are the same.

Lenny Karvitz - 'Black Girl'

Black girl, with beauty so deep
Black girl, just rock me to sleep
Black girl, good things you will reap
'Cause you're of the ancient vine
And you're from another time
And your history's all in line

Any line from 'Another Day In Paradise'

[Matthew T]

A thread slagging off Snap! and 2 Unlimited has no place in my world

[cullsoft]

I recall one of the staple necessities of cheesy 90's Europop dance acts was raps with obscure lyrics that suggested they didn't know what they were banging on about.

Sometimes that's what makes them so amusing... one of the reason I like Drum & Bass is for the amusing bollocks that some MCs pull out of knowhere.

[SiHart]

Every song The Kaiser Chiefs have ever written!

Ruby, ruby, ruby, ruby
Do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya
Know what ya doing, doing to me?

Must have taken them hours.

Si xx

[Anthony Williams]

yup... in agreement with SiHart, I present to you this "gem", as written by the "poets" (as the indie kids would have us call them) that are the Kaiser Chiefs:

I Predict a Riot
I Predict a Riot
I Predict a Riot
I Predict a Riot

etc.

Ant x

[cullsoft]

Si & Ant - dear God, it's like replaying the game Shenmue where the lead character repeats everything ayone says to him!

[SiHart]

Or this one...

Oh my god, I can't believe it,
I've never been this far away from home
and
Oh my god, I can't believe it,
I've never been this far away from home
and
Oh my god, I can't believe it,
I've never been this far away from home

Si xx

[Simon R]

Madonna's album track "I Love New York" (briefly featured in last week's "Totally Doctor Who") features the notorious line "I don't like cities but I like New York, other cities make me feel like a dork".

I don't think it's meant to be serious.

One that many critics picked up on at the time of it's release was Melanie C's ode to the homeless "If That Were Me" in which the scouse mouse claims "I couldn't live without my phone, yet you don't even have a home".

Well at least it's honest.

[P-Bal]

Maybe she'll feel that fall if This Time crumbles in Portugal.

[Lord President]

Last night I was watching the Young Ones episode Nasty, featuring a performance by The Damned. They sang a song about horror films with a lyric something like;

Ride, ride the Horror Taxi,
I fell in love with a video nasty!

Is that a bad bad lyric or what?

[Si Hunt]

Diana Ross says:

I am me
Good or bad
Right or wrong
I will stand up like a tree

Si.

[Alex]

Apologies for bumping such an old thread, but I've only just discovered the sonic atrocity that is Peter Wyngarde's "Rape".

Rape - rape - rape, rape, rape!
Rape - rape, rape, rape!
It's utterly amazing how many different kinds of rape there are!

There's Italian Rape
Uno, due, tres, quatro, cinque, quante Lira.
Look into my eye-a-balls, you will see the fire!
How much Lira have you got-a ? Only a quarter?
Oh Madonna, you didn't oughta - for that I'll have your daughter !

Japanese Rape, of course!
American Rape is full of hate and we're told, practically every minute of the hour.
And the way we're going we'll never be late,
Except for that date, with impatient Black Power!
Beginnings of Chinese Rape - endless!

One does need time, as any Englishman will explain,
If only to apologise for the agonising convenience caused
To Mother Nature's forbidden walls!
In France of course, where fun is greedy,
The women are a little more seedy.
And rape is hardly ever necessary.
So even if the Franc is down, la plume de ma tante is always up and around!

In Germany it isn't always remembered,
What with Liszt, Wagner and Tannhauser,
The rape is synonymous with whips, bunkers and Mauser.
Which makes it all comparatively kinky -
With gas thrown in to get rid of the stinky!

In Russia it's far too cold for anything so bold!
And being notoriously political (if a trifle hypocritical)
Rape becomes piratical,
And Czechoslovakia far more suitable!
Which makes the whole thing rather nasty, tasteless and hasty.
But as Jason King would say, it depends so much on what you fancy!

I mean...Christ...What was he thinking???

[Pip Madeley]

I want to hear it now...

[SiHart]

I've got the album. I'll play it for you next time you're down if you like Pip.

Si xx

[Alex]

Here you go:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vY26l5SAxJs

[Dino]

Apologies for bumping such an old thread, but I've only just discovered the sonic atrocity that is Peter Wyngarde's "Rape".
I mean...Christ...What was he thinking???

Perhaps he should have done a cover of "Keep On Truckin'"?
(Historical fall from grace reference etc)

[Pip Madeley]

Alex, that's one of the funniest things I've ever heard. And so wrong!

[WhiteCrowNZ]

The lyrics are kind of superb and awful at the same time in "There is a light and it never goes out".

And if a double decker bus
Crashes into us

No-one but Morrisey could have got away with that.