We here at McCow Megalithic happen to think Cows are rather spiffing. We also have a fondness for Doctor Who.

So it was only a matter of time before I asked myself - what if Doctor Who had been made by a bunch of Cow-obsessed loonies? The answers resume below with the amazing continuation of The Tom Farmer years!

'Look, Briga-mooer! It's growing!'
screamed Udder Strain Smith.
'Of course!' said the Doctor. 'It's LIVE yogurt!'

The Briga-mooer stared in amazement as the Yogurt began to grow... and grow... swelling to the size of a milk churn!
Slowly the dairy cowlossus, cowsting its enormous shadmoo upon the surrounding cheese and buildings, began to stride towards the Briga-mooer. A giant bio-active hand reached down to grasp him...
Can DOCTOR WHO defeat the evil forces cowntrolling the Yogurt before they execute their plans to blackmail - or destroy - the fridge?
The first adventure of DOCTOR WHO's 4th incredible incownation! As portrayed by Tom Farmer!



A space farm holds the key to a lethal moo-stery that could obull-terate all of cowkind!

The Doctor, Harry Semiskimmed and Udder-Strain Sniff accidentally land on an artificial SPACE FARM where they make a shocking discovery — survivors from Guernsey Countryside lie in UHT suspension waiting to begin a new life. To make matters worse, a giant moo has invaded the cow ark. The dead moo was queen of the Hefffrrrn, sworn enemies of Guernsey — and cud sac was full. The Doctor knows this can only lead to trouble. His suspicions are cow-nfirmed when the crew udders wake up, and it's immoo-diately moo-bvious that something is udderly wrong.

The Doctor must find a way to destroy the Hefffrrrn before they absorb the last of the cow herd and become an invincible stampede. But this involves a desperate gamble with his own life — a gamble he must take if he is to save the cow herd!



Landing in Guernsey, now a barren, desolate field, Udder Strain-Sniff, Hairy and the Doctor are unaware of the large, watching moobot. The moobot is the work of Stile, a Shorthorn warrior, who uses all cows landing here for his experimental milkshakes.
What has happened to the other milkmen who have come here? Why is the Shorthorn scout so interested in Guernsey and in brutally coloured milkshakes, including Udder Strain? Will the Doctor be able to prevent an invasion and certain disaster, and save both Guernsey and his cow-mpanions?



The place: Jersey
Time: The Grill of the Dalesteaks
After a thousand years of furry war against the Goats, HOOFROS has perfected the physical form that will carry his milk into eternity - the dreaded DALESTEAK. Without horns, udders or pity, the Dalesteak is programmed to EXTERMOOOOOO-NATE.

At the command of the Time Lards, THE DOCTOR travels back through time in an effort to udderlly destroy this terrible moo-nace of the future.
But even the Doctor cannot always win...