Doctor Who - The Tom Farmer Years: New Cows!

[Rob McCow]

We here at McCow Megalithic happen to think Cows are rather spiffing. We also have a fondness for Doctor Who.

So it was only a matter of time before I asked myself - what if Doctor Who had been made by a bunch of Cow-obsessed loonies? The answers resume below with the amazing continuation of The Tom Farmer years!

'Look, Briga-mooer! It's growing!'
screamed Udder Strain Smith.
'Of course!' said the Doctor. 'It's LIVE yogurt!'

The Briga-mooer stared in amazement as the Yogurt began to grow... and grow... swelling to the size of a milk churn!
Slowly the dairy cowlossus, cowsting its enormous shadmoo upon the surrounding cheese and buildings, began to stride towards the Briga-mooer. A giant bio-active hand reached down to grasp him...
Can DOCTOR WHO defeat the evil forces cowntrolling the Yogurt before they execute their plans to blackmail - or destroy - the fridge?
The first adventure of DOCTOR WHO's 4th incredible incownation! As portrayed by Tom Farmer!



A space farm holds the key to a lethal moo-stery that could obull-terate all of cowkind!

The Doctor, Harry Semiskimmed and Udder-Strain Sniff accidentally land on an artificial SPACE FARM where they make a shocking discovery — survivors from Guernsey Countryside lie in UHT suspension waiting to begin a new life. To make matters worse, a giant moo has invaded the cow ark. The dead moo was queen of the Hefffrrrn, sworn enemies of Guernsey — and cud sac was full. The Doctor knows this can only lead to trouble. His suspicions are cow-nfirmed when the crew udders wake up, and it's immoo-diately moo-bvious that something is udderly wrong.

The Doctor must find a way to destroy the Hefffrrrn before they absorb the last of the cow herd and become an invincible stampede. But this involves a desperate gamble with his own life — a gamble he must take if he is to save the cow herd!



Landing in Guernsey, now a barren, desolate field, Udder Strain-Sniff, Hairy and the Doctor are unaware of the large, watching moobot. The moobot is the work of Stile, a Shorthorn warrior, who uses all cows landing here for his experimental milkshakes.
What has happened to the other milkmen who have come here? Why is the Shorthorn scout so interested in Guernsey and in brutally coloured milkshakes, including Udder Strain? Will the Doctor be able to prevent an invasion and certain disaster, and save both Guernsey and his cow-mpanions?



The place: Jersey
Time: The Grill of the Dalesteaks
After a thousand years of furry war against the Goats, HOOFROS has perfected the physical form that will carry his milk into eternity - the dreaded DALESTEAK. Without horns, udders or pity, the Dalesteak is programmed to EXTERMOOOOOO-NATE.

At the command of the Time Lards, THE DOCTOR travels back through time in an effort to udderlly destroy this terrible moo-nace of the future.
But even the Doctor cannot always win...

[Teresa]

Steve may I just say you are utter (or udder ever ) Genius...
I Love It!
that has actually brightened my day immensely!!

Teresa
xx

[Larry]

Excelent stuff - Steve -

[Martin Penny]

Hoofros is the scariest thing I have ever seen!

[Philipnet]

and it's immoo-diately moo-bvious that something is udderly wrong

Just how many cow puns do you think we can take in one sitting?

[Pamela]

fantastic! you need a pat on the back mate!

[The Secretive Bus]

Tom likes spanking cows, judging by the third cover there...

[Stuart Wallis]

Just how many cow puns do you think we can take in one sitting?

Definately more than this amount! More please!

[Rob McCow]

A moo-sterious plague strikes Space Beacow Moova, cattlling its victims within minute steaks. When DOCTOR WHOMOO? MOO DA WHO! lands, only four cows remain alive. One of these seems to be in league with the nearby planet of yogurt, Yoga... Or is he in fact working for the dreaded CYBERMOOS, who are now determined to finally destroy their old enemies, the YOGANS?
The Doctor, Udder-Strain and Hairy find themselves caught in the midst of a terrifying struggle to death - between the ruthless, cheese-hungry Cybermoos and the concerned, contented Yogans.



'THIS IS NO ORDINARY SEA SERPENT... WE'RE DEALING WITH A COW-BORG!'
Sumooned back to Guernsey by Brigamoo-er Leth-beef-stew-art, the Doctor is asked to investigate a series of moo-sterious attacks on Jersey milk vans. The culprit appears to be Daisy herself, but the mooster turns out to be a SCOWRASEN, the half cow, half machine creation of the Moogons. The Doctor, Udder-Strain and Hairy must stop the Moogons, some of whom have taken cows to do things in the lake, from making Guernsey their new farm.



A wretched survey team of eight men from the mighty Morestran Empire lands on wretched Zeta Minor, a wretched planet on the fringes of the universe. Before their wretched expedition is over, seven of the wretched men are mysteriously and wretchedly murdered.
A wretched distress signal brings the Doctor to the planet - but his wretched intentions are not appreciated. The commander of a Moremilkvan rescoo party, sent to investigate the wretched disappearance of the survey team, is convinced the Doctor is a big custard face.
And while the Doctor is kept in the fridge and poo-erless to act, the merciless hell-pat claims even more victims...

[Trudi G]

This is all quite a-moo-sing

[Si Hunt]

Morestran

Moo-restran surely!

Si.

[Stephen Morgan]

Very amoosing for a Sunday morning. I can't wait to see later seasons, are we to get classics like Destiny of the Dalesteaks, featuring The Dalesteaks and the Moovellans? Will we get to see The Cowshed of Death, where the Doctor finds hundreds of copies of famous painting the Moona Lisa, or even, dare I say The errr.. Horns of Nimoon?

[SiHart]

ooh! Pre-emptive Cow puns! I wonder if Steve's herd those ones before?

Moo-restran surely!

I suggested that, but it wasn't up to Steve's high standards... or least I got in there before he did and so got my idea shot down in (bbq) flames.

Si xx

[Stuart Wallis]

Oh, leave Cowpat Of Wretched Weevils alone!

Should not the Cybermoos be attempting to destroy Yoga, the planet of yoghurt, because of their allergy to milk products? You didn't think of that one either, did you?

Obviously one of the cows on the cover of Terror of the Moogons is carrying the other, drowning cow to safety...

[Dave Tudor]

I predict a time when the plot outlines will contain no real words or sentences at all, just lots and lots of cow puns.

Brilliant as ever, Steak. I mean, Steve.

[Jonno]

Yes, as inspired as ever, Mr McCow!

Talking of S17, I like forward to the adventures of that nocturnal cow - The Night Mooer of Eden!

[Stephen Morgan]

Mooving on to pastures new, is it true that in later seasons we get to meet The White Fresian of Time? And doesn't he send The Doctor a new companion Romoona to help him gather the pieces of the Cowpat of Time which are scattered in different locations of the mooniverse?
Doesn't it all turn out to be a trick though by The Irish Black Guardian of Time? A trick to give him total, and ultimate, control of the mooniverse.

No cattles of laughter please, this is serious.

[Stuart Wallis]

I must say I've not herd of that story.

[Dirk Gently]

I think Steve deserves a pat on the back for his efforts & I was wandering if we might be seeing a video dairy of his work.

[Rob McCow]

'EGYPTIAN MOOMMIES BUILDING A COWSHED? THAT'S REALLY CRAZY DOCTOR!'
Returning to MOONIT H.MOO, the Doctor and Udder Strain Sniff are thrown into turmoo when the COWDIS is caught up by a moosterious fence. Mootekh, the last of the Cowsirians, has been released from his pyramint prison by Dairytologist Moocows Scowmoos, and now plans to avenge his imprisonment by destroying all life in the Cowsmoos.
Professor Scowmoos, possessed by the spirit of Mootekh, builds a cowshed and flies to Mars, for it is here that the mystical Hoof of Hornus lies - the key to Mootekh's prison. Can the Doctor stop the evil Egyptian's path of destruction?

[Dirk Gently]

Nice, Steve. Really Moovellous.

[Stuart Wallis]

The most mooving cover yet!

[Antony Cox]

for Mootekh! It had to be really, didn't it?

[Antony Cox]

This is great fun, and lot's of cow puns - which is nice!

[Rob McCow]

The Doctor and Udder Strain-Sniff arrive safely back in Guernsey - or do they?
Why does the mysterious soldier march straight under a stampeding cow - and then reappear unharmed?
Why are they milking the sinister moo-chanics with built-in udders for hands?
Why is a picturesque country dairy at first deserted - then filled with milkless moobies?
And why are their best friends suddenly trying to kill them?
The Doctor has stumbled on a cow-nning alien plan to take over Gurnesey. Will he be in time to de-hoof the deadly Krowls and their terrifying Cowdroid invasion?