The Fast Show

[Pip Madeley]

We should have a thread about this BRILLIANT! BBC comedy, especially as the news comes that there's a one-off final live show this November...

THE FAST SHOW
Dominion Theatre, London
SUN 04/11/2007 19:30

"Shamelessly plugging the DVD". One-off final live show on sale 9am Friday 28th September.

Who were your favourite characters? What were your fave sketches? What was your favourite catchphrase?



Mmmmmmmmmm... nice.

[Wayne]

I probably can't remember all of them offhand, but:

Favourite characters/sketches

Jazz Club (It had to be, really)

Very close runner up

Ted & Ralph. (Higson is just absolutely sublime!)

Then in no particular order

Competitive Dad
The Artists (BLACK! - I think we'd better be going home now, Johnny)
Unlucky Alf
Duke of Wybourne
The Pissed Family
Colin Hunt
Bob Fleming
The Pub Bore
Roy and Renie

Things i thought were good, but a bit repetitive/overated

Suits You Sir
Rowley Birkin
Swiss Toni (Sorry Pip)
The Cockney Thief

Things i didn't like/thought were crap

Brilliant! (No it wasn't)
Jessie's diets/fashions
Arthur Atkinson/Tommy Cockles
Chanel 9
Ron Manager
Those 2 blokes that do all the off-roading type stuff

Meh

Dave Angel (one trick pony/Mike Reid)
Professor Denzil Dexter *(usually)
..... which was nice
Does my bum look big in this

Favourite catchphrase

"I'm not pissed you know!"

Favourite ever sketch

Very difficult. Loads of contenders from 'Jazz Club' & 'Ted & Ralph', but there's a particular sequence of sketches through one show where a 40+yr old character played by Charlie Higson gets a young 17/18yr old g/f, who brings her mate to the pub..... You know the one i mean? It culminates with the line: "Can i cum on yer tits?" It's not just that line, it's the whole build up & context.

A couple of one offs worth mentioning

The Australian who can't stop swearing on 'That's Amazing'. *& the Professor Denzil Dexter sketch where he stands on 4 toilet rolls. So dumb, but it's just the way he looks at the camera & says: "No" after the toilet rolls have collapsed. It just cracks me up everytime!

Favourite overall comedian/performer

Charlie Higson.

Nearly everyone says Paul Whitehouse, & yes he's superb, Infact they're all great, But Higson just has something about him. He deserves 'man of the match' for the character of Ralph, alone.

[Martin Penny]

"Stuck! In the dark! In a hole! WITH AN OOOOOOOOOOOWWWLLLL!"

Was one of my favourites! Along with the mad painter - 'Black! BLACK!'

Oo...and Monkfish!

Ah, twas all great! I agree with Wayne's choices for the crappy sketches though, the Brilliant guy didn't ever make me laugh, nor did the Arthur Atkinson stuff.

[SiHart]

I loved the Black Painter too because it was so surreal. The 7th Duke of Duke of Wybourne always made me laugh as well.

But Unlucky Alf was my favourite! Bugger!

Si xx

[Wayne]

But Unlucky Alf was my favourite! Bugger!

Si xx

My fave is the one where he blows his house up, & says: 'Bugger!', as he's shooting up into the sky.

[Pip Madeley]

My favourites:

Swiss Toni and Paul ("Checking the details of a second-hand car is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First of all, verify her year of origin. She may look like she rolled off the production line in 1990 but who's to say the fellow before you didn't give her a good spraying?" )

Unlucky Alf (where he smashes his own greenhouse with a cricket ball )

The Offroaders (the one where they're apparently clinging onto a rockface & it turns out they're only inches off the ground)

Hello, We're Cockneys! (where they meet the black man - "Check me one time, whitey... I'm a Rasta, in a Kingston-stylee... that's Kingston, in Richmond-Upon-Thames... you, rasclart, Pimms all round!" )

Johnny Nice Painter ("What's for tea, Mother? Maggots on toast?")

Chip Cobb, the Deaf Stuntman ("Set meself on fire? ALRIGHT!")

Dave Angel, Eco-Warrior ("Shirley!")

Rowley Birkin QC ("don't point that thing at me she said!... and then she came")

John Actor, Inspector Monkfish ("Put your knickers on and get me a cup of tea!")

The 13th Duke of Wybourne ("what does he think I'm going to do, sing her a lullaby or something?")

and of course, Louis Balfour, Jazz Man... (the one with the Jay Kay-esque singer - "GET OVER THERE!")

[Wayne]

Hello, We're Cockneys! (where they meet the black man - "Check me one time, whitey... I'm a Rasta, in a Kingston-stylee... that's Kingston, in Richmond-Upon-Thames... you, rasclart, Pimms all round!" )

That is a great sketch!

[Dirk Gently]

'Unlucky' Alf, the lonely old pensioner for whom nothing ever goes right. His hook is his resigned "Oh bugger!" as something terrible happens. He often predicts a bad event that is quite obvious, only to find something else occurs as he tries to avoid the first problem. (Paul Whitehouse) & Anyone fancy a pint? A man (Whitehouse) who is featured in increasingly boring or bizarre situations, such as a dinner party where a woman is talking about how she was abandoned as a child and crying about everyone letting her down. Whitehouse then interrupts at the most insensitive moment asking "anyone fancy a pint?", before he and most of the men in the room leave.

Archie the pub bore. Talks to people in the pub, and when they mention their profession, no matter what it is, he always claims to have had the same profession, saying that it is the 'hardest game in the world. Thirty years, man and boy!' He has an obsession with Frank Sinatra, almost invariably steering the conversation towards the singer, before mentioning how he and his friend Stan faired on a recent fishing trip. (Whitehouse) & Bob Fleming, the ageing incompetent host of Country Matters, who has an extremely bad cough (Higson)

Arthur Atkinson, parody of 1940s music hall entertainers such as Max Miller and Arthur Askey, played by Paul Whitehouse, introduced by Tommy Cockles (Simon Day), himself a parody of presenters of TV history, especially Denis Norden (Whitehouse)

Billy Bleach, tousle-mopped, interfering pub know-it-all who gets it all wrong. (Day) Not bad.

Brilliant Kid, a parody of British children's TV presenters who walks through a series of peculiar backgrounds describing various innocuous, everyday things as 'brilliant!' (Whitehouse) MEH!

Carl Hooper, Australian presenter of That's Amazing, a spoof of pop-science shows. Normally the person on his show was trying to pass off an everyday animal or object as something magical. The one occasion where a guest had a truly amazing story to tell was unbroadcastable due to the guest's inability to refrain from swearing excitedly while relating the tale (Day)

Chanel 9, a mock Mediterranean television channel with low production values based on a combination of cultural clichés and made up languages (mostly pseudo Spanish, Greek, and Egyptian, with the odd, random French, Italian and even English sounding words thrown in for humorous effect). (Various) & Chris the Crafty Cockney, claims to be an incurable kleptomaniac ("I'll nick anything, me"). He is left alone with something valuable and invariably steals it (Whitehouse) Got old quick.

Colin Hunt, unfunny office joker whose name gives an indication of his personality (Higson) & Competitive Dad, who is over-critical and demanding of his kids, and always has to get one up on them. (Day)

Dave Angel, Eco-Warrior, who is into saving the planet (his somewhat dubious methodology invariably undermined by his wife's behaviour), Mike Oldfield records, and swinging. A parody of a late-night magazine programme presented by Mike Reid. "Moonlight Shadow" by Mike Oldfield is used as the theme tune to sketches featuring the character (Day)

Professor Denzil Dexter of the University of Southern California and his various bizarre scientific experiments (Thomson) & The 13th Duke of Wybourne, posh, rumpled dinner-jacketed, lecherous cigar smoker, finds himself in wholly unsuitable places considering his 'reputation' (Whitehouse)

Ed Winchester, an American reporter. He beams at the camera and says "Hi! I'm Ed Winchester!" in a very upbeat voice, before the camera cuts to another scene. (Jeff Harding). G.O.Q.

Gideon Soames, white-haired, posh-talking architecture and history professor. (Day) meh

I'll Get Me Coat, a socially challenged Brummie, who is unable to maintain a conversation with appropriate answers, and therefore disgraces himself with a faux pas before using the punchline and leaving (Williams)

Insecure Woman, who appears in a variety of different locations, sometimes bizarrely exclaiming, "Does my bum look big in this?" (Weir) & No Offence, a rude, orange-faced, South African department store cosmetics saleswoman (Weir) G.O.Really Q.

Jesse a verbally challenged country bumpkin who exclaims his strange diets, fashion tastes and experiments, usually in the form of "This week, I 'ave been mostly..." (Williams) & Johnny Nice Painter, who goes insane at the mention of the colour black. (Higson)

John Actor, who plays Inspector Monkfish, the tough uncompromising cop who often exclaims to the nearest woman, "Put your knickers on and get me a cup of tea!" Not bad.

Ken and Kenneth, the "Suit you!" tailors who bombard potential customers with innuendo about their private life, (Whitehouse and Williams) & Louis Balfour, presenter of Jazz Club (a parody of The Old Grey Whistle Test), based on a blend of Bob Harris and Roger Moore. (Thomson)

"Our" Janine Carr, teenage mum with a unique world outlook. She refuses to reveal who the father of her baby is because "it's not fair to grass on your headmaster" (Aherne) meh!

The Offroaders, Simon and Lindsey, despite their unusually high confidence and esteem, are useless at their profession ("sorted!", "gripped!"). (Higson and Whitehouse)

Patrick Nice, a man who tells us of unusual and special experiences (discovering the original copy of the Bible, finding out he is a direct descendant of Kubla Khan, etc.), followed by his catchphrase, "Which was nice." (Williams)

Ron Manager, nonsense-talking football pundit. Doesn't actually know very much about football (Whitehouse)

Rowley Birkin QC, a retired barrister, tells mostly unintelligible stories at the fireside. Occasionally, his speech becomes coherent for a short while, containing strange phrases such as "The whole thing was made completely out of matchsticks" or "Snake! Snake!". Almost always ends his stories with "I'm afraid I was very, very drunk!" (Whitehouse).

Roy & Renée, endless chattering from Renée and her verbally-challenged husband Roy, who is expected to meekly agree with everything she says.

Swiss Toni, a car salesman who compares everything to making love to a beautiful woman.

Ted & Ralph - country squire Lord Ralph Mayhew attempts to strike up an intimate relationship with his estate worker Ted. (Whitehouse and Higson).

Thanks to Wikipepedia.

[Martin Penny]

One of the sketches that made me laugh hysterically was 'Geoffrey Norman MP', the politician who just denies everything. It's a very simple gag, but Charlie Higson makes it work brilliantly

[Pip Madeley]

One of the best Fast Show sketches ever...

Dave Angel, Eco Warrior - Naturism

I cried the first time I saw that. And Shirley wasn't too bad either.

[Pip Madeley]

Interesting interview with Whitehouse and Higson:

The last laugh for The Fast Show

There's an interesting bit where the interviewer brings up Chris Langham, and Whitehouse quickly nips it in the bud and moves the conversation on. No more episodes of Help then, perhaps?

[Pip Madeley]

This DVD is looking to be an essential purchase:

Series 1-3
The Last Fast Show Ever (original uncut 3x40 minute version)
The Fast Show Night excerpts
Suit You Sir! The Inside Leg Of The Fast Show
You Ain't Seen These Right (50m video edit)
Comedy Connections: The Fast Show
Behind-The-Scenes documentary by Rhys Thomas
Interviews
Audio commentaries

Around £29-30 at most places. At last, You Ain't Seen These Right & the full "fourth series" on DVD! Bout bloody time.

[Paul Monk]

That looks good.

[Pip Madeley]

Shame I couldnae gone to that one-off Fast Show gig... guess Who turned up...

David made a surprise cameo appearance in a special one off performance of The Fast Show live at the Dominion Theatre on Sunday night. He found himself hemmed in on either side by Ken and Kenneth, the prim but far from proper tailors as they quizzed him about Billie Piper and Doctor Who in their unique manner.