Rhyming lyrics that are so bad they are really works of genius.

[Paul Monk]

Just listening to Squeeze gave me this idea. What rhyming lyrics do you think are so bad and dodgy that they are actually works of brilliance?

Here's one from Up the Junction by Squeeze

"This morning at four fifty, I took her rather nifty"

[Perry Vale]

I'll get in first with.....

"I'm serious as cancer, when I say rhythm is a dancer"

[WhiteCrow]

Here's one from Up the Junction by Squeeze

"This morning at four fifty, I took her rather nifty"

It is indeed a genius song, but full of that kind of lyrics

"Took her to an incubator
Where thirty minutes later
She gave birth to a daughter
Within a year a walker
She looked just like her mother
If there could be another"

[Andrew Curnow]

I don't think you can really top Burt Bacharach's timeless line from "I'll Never Fall In Love Again":

What do you get when you kiss a guy?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia.
After you do, he'll never phone ya

That, my friends, is genius.

[Simon R]

This delight from "Kids in America"....

"New York to East California
There's a new wave coming I warn ya"

Sheer poetry my boy.

[Si Hunt]

"Darling, let's have another baby.
Let's make one soon
on our second honeymoon.

Darling, let's have another baby.
I'll be so happy,
to wash and change it's nappy."

Si.

[Rob McCow]

New Order B-Side 'Behind Closed Doors' revealed this gem -

I feel it in my bones
I check upon the scores
I listen to The Corrs
Behind closed doors

[WhiteCrow]

The Kaisar Chiefs "I predict a riot"

I try to get into my taxi,
A man in a tracksuit attacks me.
He said that he saw it before me,
Wants to get things a bit gory.

[Si Hunt]

Not so much a bad set of lyrics, but some which suggest Darren Hayes is simply trying to use all the words in the English language that rhyme with "cack":

You said you never really wanted me back
Well maybe that’s a fact
May I suggest a brand new plan of attack
And in defense of that
You’re hard to crack
You’re way off track
I want you back

It's impossible to hear without wondering if the song is going to have to involve mentioning Simon Lack in order to continue.

Si.

[Stuart Wallis]

Ah! the wonders of Rogers and Hart (no relation):

When love congeals - it soon reveals
The faint aroma - of performing seals
The double-crossing - of a pair of heals
I wish I were in love again

[Simon R]

Dame Melanie Chis was much mocked at the time for this delight...

"I couldn't live without my phone,
but you don't even have a home"

Bless.