Eye of the Daleks

[Paul Monk]

Si wrote that line, so I've no idea.

[Wayne]

Ah!

[SiHart]

I suspect it was a subconscious thing. I didn't do it deliberately. Dalek Dialogue just flowed out of me!

Si xx

[Wayne]

Btw..... The link to 'Eye of the Daleks' in the PS Creativity/Audios section of the website doesn't work.
I wanted to grab the cover art to print myself a nice glossy cover for this one.....

[Pip Madeley]

Bizzare, it was there before, perhaps someone deleted it by accident. I've uploaded the page so it should be visible now.

[Wayne]

Thanks Pip. The page is there, but there's no cover art available.
Perhaps someone could e-mail the images to me if you're not making them available on the website? (beg/grovel)
Si did print me a cover when he sent the CD, but i want to print myself high quality front, inner, & back sleeves on glossy paper.

[SiHart]

How odd, it's working here Wayne.

Try this link:

http://www.planetskaro.org.uk/creati...-frontwork.jpg

Si xx

[Wayne]

Thanks Si!
All i need now is the back cover.

[Pip Madeley]

The back cover hasn't been made available on the website (because the CD was an exclusive/limited edition) but I'll e-mail it to you this evening.

[Wayne]

Thanks Pip.
I'll let you know when i get it.

[Pip Madeley]

http://www.planetskaro.org.uk/SiHunt...-backcover.jpg

[Wayne]

Brilliant Pip, thanks!

[WhiteCrow]

I've finally caught up with this, and very impressed I was. One of the most professional sounding audios yet.

What's to love

* The Dalek voices were absolutely excellent.
* Lots of things aurally going on, making it quite dramatic.
* The scenes between Choo and Rob worked well - I'm right in remembering they were recorded on separate days?
* Della was an interesting idea, would have nice for him to have had a bit more of what was driving him. Not sure on Ant Williams interpretation that someone so devious and with a chip on his shoulder had to be from the North! [I am joking here]
* Fnubs death scene was excellent - death by Dalek effect can bring out some terrible acting.
* The music worked well to support the story instead of almost wrestling with it.
* The plosions are greatly reduced these days. Well done.

Some things I might have liked to be dealt with slightly differently ... don't treat them too much as critisism but instead how I'd have liked some elements to turn out differently ...

* Alas being so soon after Journey's End, there was something about the Daleks plot to use an artifact to dominate the rest of the Galaxy which felt a bit too similar too soon. I think to be fair though, most Dalek stories probably have something similar - they're out to conquor and destroy anyway.
* Didn't like how the Doctor seemed to abandon Nick. It felt very un-Doctor-like. I think it needed a line like "I'm putting you somewhere safe, with luck they won't find you." The Doctor doesn't abandon companions like that.
* Likewise the way Choo gave her life at the end. I felt the Doctor behaved a little un-Doctor-like. "I'm going to make Choo do this incredibly dangerous thing". It seemed really kind of uncaring.

I think it'd have worked better being the Doctor saying he's going to use the telepathic circuits to do something and it'll probably kill him, and Choo instead heroically does it first. That's my opinion obviously how I'd have liked to see those bits resolved. Doesn't mean it's right.

[SiHart]

* Didn't like how the Doctor seemed to abandon Nick. It felt very un-Doctor-like. I think it needed a line like "I'm putting you somewhere safe, with luck they won't find you." The Doctor doesn't abandon companions like that.

I suspect this will have all sorts of implications for the future... We'll see...

* Likewise the way Choo gave her life at the end. I felt the Doctor behaved a little un-Doctor-like. "I'm going to make Choo do this incredibly dangerous thing". It seemed really kind of uncaring.

It's difficult with the running time of a two parter to do everything you'd like to do. In an ideal world I'd have included the Doctor/ Choo scene where they discuus this matter before rescuing Nick and Rob in the TARDIS, but a) it wasn't my story (cop out!) and b) there simply wasn't time to do that and everything else. I hoped people would sort of suspect that the Doctor had tried to talk her out of it before, but when it comes down to it, one life to stop Dalek supremacy is perhaps good? I don't know. It's an interesting question.

Where's Paul?

Si xx

[WhiteCrow]

Last time I put some feedback on here I made the mistake of trying to explain where I was coming from with my comments, which turned it into a bit of a drama. I won't this time. I hope what I've said will be taken for the constructive critisism it's meant as.

You do make some valid counter-arguments there of course.

I was kind of a bit dissapointed with one element of the story. And this is all my fault. But I was for some reason expecting "Daleks vs Quarks", as the Dominators try and muscle in. I think I misread the promotion blurb - so "Daleks vs Krotons" was a bit "well when do the Quarks come in". However the Krotons made a lot more sense.

I need to brush up on my Troughton obviously.

[Paul Monk]

*

Alas being so soon after Journey's End, there was something about the Daleks plot to use an artifact to dominate the rest of the Galaxy which felt a bit too similar too soon. I think to be fair though, most Dalek stories probably have something similar - they're out to conquor and destroy anyway.

How I cursed that Journey's End! In order to work in the Krotons there had to be something of theirs that the daleks were using. Something that they'd disturbed, that'd wake them up. And the Hyper Dynatrope seemed like the solution. The daleks could use it as a weapon and create the crystal daleks and take over the universe. The Krotons could wake up and give the daleks a pounding. Originally the daleks were in the process of mining the planet, so Dalek Invasion of Earth was really the inspiration.

*

Didn't like how the Doctor seemed to abandon Nick. It felt very un-Doctor-like. I think it needed a line like "I'm putting you somewhere safe, with luck they won't find you." The Doctor doesn't abandon companions like that.

I think that this hints at a slightly darker side to the Doctor that we haven't really seen yet but mostly its all part of the Doctor's plan for Nick ;-)
The Doctor always intended to come back for him. He had an injured leg in a battlefield and the Doctor took a calculated risk in collecting the tardis first and leaving Nick on his own, rather than try to drag Nick across to the Tardis. Nick however misconstrued this as being abandoned.

*

Likewise the way Choo gave her life at the end. I felt the Doctor behaved a little un-Doctor-like. "I'm going to make Choo do this incredibly dangerous thing". It seemed really kind of uncaring.

In hindsight there should have been a scene between Choo and Doctor where he tries to talk her out of it. In the final breakdowns I decided not to include it because I thought that Choo walking off and later when the Doctor appears to know what she intends to do, made it clear that they'd had a talk and that this would increase the impact of her sacrifice. I think I was wrong looking back and that extra scene would have helped.
Ultimately I think the Doctor knew it was the only way to defeat the Daleks. He was fairly desperate and had no other back up plan.

*

Della was an interesting idea, would have nice for him to have had a bit more of what was driving him.

Originally there was more made of his relationship with his dad who was a very successful leader and Della felt very much in his shadow, a huge disappointment to his dad and really wanted to prove himself to him. I think some of this may have been cut or I may have snipped some bits out in the breakdowns.

I guess this is the difficulty with this type of action script. In an attempt to keep up the pace some of the more character bits end up getting sacrificed.

Anyway. Thanks for the criticisms, Mike. They're quite useful and this was my first stab at an audio so its good to take them on board and note them away for the future.

[Paul Monk]

I think I misread the promotion blurb - so "Daleks vs Krotons" was a bit "well when do the Quarks come in".

There was a bit of a panic when Big Finish announced their Kroton story and I actually did consider switching them for Quarks but the thought of watching The Dominators was just too painful.

[WhiteCrow]

There was a bit of a panic when Big Finish announced their Kroton story and I actually did consider switching them for Quarks but the thought of watching The Dominators was just too painful.

I really liked The Dominators! Although last time I tried watching it, I stalled after episode 2. The Dulkans are the race that fashion forgot. I know in the Sound of Music there's a great bit where Maria makes clothes for her children from curtains but all the same ...

Actually we should SO do the Quarks - we could have all the children of PS all provide the voices.

Glad you take what I'm saying in the spirit it's intended. I think though even looking at the official series, there are moments of the people involved going "I wish we'd done that bit a little differently".

By the way I thought I felt a couple of homages to Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy in there? I'm sure the sound effect for Marvin walking was used. And the scene where the Doc and Rob flee from the Daleks has a certain quality of Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect?

You realise though thanks to this, Allie will forever be "the old girl" at the heart of the TARDIS. She'll love you for that!

[Paul Monk]

Glad you take what I'm saying in the spirit it's intended.

Well there are loads of things that could have been different about the script. I remember have too trains of thought whilst listening. One was WOW at Si's production.
The other was cringing slightly at all the flaws in the script which are easy to pick out in hindsight.

[SiHart]

Sometimes you don't realise the flaws until you listen to it, or hear the actors saying the lines. I know I'm prone to writing awkward sentences at time, like "we had to spend 5 days searching for the bathroom..." when " we spent 5 days looking for the bathroom" would have been far better, but i didn't realise at the time. Sometime what is clear to you as the writer might not be immediately obvious to the listener when they hear it.

Si xx

[Paul Monk]

Exactly. And sometimes you can cringe and fret about a line like the example you've given but the listener doesn't even notice.

[SiHart]

It's true. No-one else (aside from Steve who's had it pointed out to him) ever noticed the time in Heist! where i had to edit one of Ed's lines to add a "Jann" in when i cut out part of the scene. To me it jars every time I hear it because it obviously doesn't belong to the rest of the line, but I don't think anyone else has ever noticed it at all!

Si xx

[WhiteCrow]

This isn't meant as a criticism - an honest question. But was there supposed to be something a little Scooby Doo gang about Della's gang? I had visions of Paul OD'd on Cartoon Network when writing it.

[WhiteCrow]

"we had to spend 5 days searching for the bathroom..." when " we spent 5 days looking for the bathroom" would have been far better

On paper the second sounds better.

But then the way Dave delivers the line, it feels like how the character would say it, so it seems right.

[SiHart]

It was Paul's line

Si xx