Thread: Santa Baynes Grotto VI
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19th Dec 2006, 9:15 PM #1
Santa Baynes Grotto VI
I can't not do this! I do it every year. A bit like having too many snowballs.
It's a bit late to be opening up, but come in the cyber grotto and sit on my knee....what would you like for Christmas? You have to tell me in the kind of words that would be guaranteed to get me all excited (should that be your wish)
I haven't made much effort this year, so just come in, do your business and let's get it over with.I must admit, just when I think I'm king, I just begin!
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19th Dec 2006, 9:28 PM #2Wayne Guest
Dear Santa Baynes, Can you get me a gig in Bolton someone soon please? :wayne
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19th Dec 2006, 9:43 PM #3Captain Tancredi Guest
Well, that would have been my first choice, but my second would be a best friend. Somebody who isn't necessarily into the same stuff, but is there on the end of the phone whenever I need him or her, and who calls every so often to see if I fancy going somewhere. Somebody who knows and understands me well enough so that I don't need to explain or excuse myself- and yet still somebody I can give to, who doesn't have something in their life that I can contribute.
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19th Dec 2006, 9:44 PM #4
Dear Santa Baynes,
All my life I've wanyted a remoe control talking robot dog from TV's Doctor Who. Is it asking for too much that you give me one?
Si xx
I've just got my handcuffs and my truncheon and that's enough.
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19th Dec 2006, 9:45 PM #5
I can't think of anywhere a man of your apparant class would play, Wayne! The Soundhouse is a bit indie and rock, Bergaracs is an indie disco, Hawthorns is closed and the rest are pubs of various reputations. I'll keep my senses peeled.
Get off now, you're hurting.I must admit, just when I think I'm king, I just begin!
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19th Dec 2006, 9:50 PM #6
Si, your beloved other may be able to help. Otherwise, I'm reliably informed quarter sized robot dogs are all over the shops at the moment, and some places sell them cheaper. (Taps nose) you heard it here first.
Ian, a best friend isn't something you find in the shops, but they do come in all shapes and sizes. You have to love yourself for them though, as they can't always do that in the same way and can be very unreliable but full of wonderful life enriching surprises. I'm sure that's what the instruction manual said. They don't run on batteries though, which I think is marvellous!Last edited by Carol Baynes; 19th Dec 2006 at 9:54 PM. Reason: my love life is DOA
I must admit, just when I think I'm king, I just begin!
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19th Dec 2006, 10:01 PM #7Captain Tancredi Guest
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19th Dec 2006, 10:09 PM #8Wayne Guest
Well if there's no suitable venue in Bolton, i shall just have to go for a personal appearance at Chez Baynes.
:wayne (Just look at those fingers go!)
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19th Dec 2006, 11:10 PM #9
I cannot enter the grotto this year as my tears will stain the curtains.
Last edited by Milky Tears; 19th Dec 2006 at 11:12 PM. Reason: replaced "damage" with "stain" for greater comedy potential...
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19th Dec 2006, 11:31 PM #10Pip Madeley Guest
Dear Santa Baynes,
Will you work my shifts at the library so I can go and spend Christmas with the missus?
Yours festively,
Pip x
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20th Dec 2006, 7:25 PM #11
I won't be in any library this Christmas. Sorry, Pip!
James, just change your username to "Spunk" and let's get all the **** jokes out of the way!I must admit, just when I think I'm king, I just begin!
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21st Dec 2006, 10:06 AM #12
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21st Dec 2006, 12:47 PM #13
Dear Santa Baynes,
This Christmas, I would like the gift of uninterrupted sleep. I don't think it's too much to ask to be able to have a full night's sleep without being woken?
many thanks,
Ant x
Watchers in the Fourth Dimension: A Doctor Who Podcast
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21st Dec 2006, 6:26 PM #14
Santa Baynes' mucky words have sullied my Milky Innocence!!
She's gone too far and should be stripped of her cloak. A strongly worded letter is on its way the Worldwide Association of Naughty and Kinky Santas.Last edited by Milky Tears; 21st Dec 2006 at 6:27 PM. Reason: to try and make it less obvious by removing the bold capitals
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21st Dec 2006, 7:13 PM #15
Awww, come under my cloak and I'll hug you tenderly.
I suggest Ant and Pam share my Bed of Peace tonight!I must admit, just when I think I'm king, I just begin!
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22nd Dec 2006, 10:28 AM #16
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22nd Dec 2006, 6:14 PM #17
Dear Santy Baines.
Please can I have something I can play with, and that's made of chocolate. And a toy. And popcorn.
Si.
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23rd Dec 2006, 11:26 AM #18
You'll have to be good!
This is the point where I rustle your hair and go "aww" as you run off to your Mum.I must admit, just when I think I'm king, I just begin!
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24th Dec 2006, 8:36 PM #19
Last orders at the grotto!
I must admit, just when I think I'm king, I just begin!
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24th Dec 2006, 8:48 PM #20
Please can I have something warm and great smelling before I go to bed?
Si.
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25th Dec 2006, 12:23 AM #21
I'm not available unfortunatly Si, but I would have offered myself.
I must admit, just when I think I'm king, I just begin!
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25th Dec 2006, 3:34 AM #22Dave Lewis Guest
Am I too late? It's barely Christmas Day...
I want the owner of this grotto, and everyone who has visited it, or looked at it, or seen it mentioned on the title page of PS, to have a splendid 2007.
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26th Dec 2006, 5:15 PM #23
Is it half price to sit on your knee yet?
Dennis, Francois, Melba and Smasher are competing to see who can wine and dine Lola Whitecastle and win the contract to write her memoirs. Can Dennis learn how to be charming? Can Francois concentrate on anything else when food is on the table? Will Smasher keep his temper under control?
If only the 28th century didn't keep popping up to get in Dennis's way...
#dammitbrent
The eleventh annual Brenty Four serial is another Planet Skaro exclusive. A new episode each day until Christmas in the Brenty Four-um.
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27th Dec 2006, 4:18 PM #24
I'm closed!
I must admit, just when I think I'm king, I just begin!
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27th Dec 2006, 4:20 PM #25
*Dave, bangs on the door, sobbing, before being moved on by security.*
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