Santa Baynes Grotto VI

**Carol Baynes** · 19th Dec 2006, 9:15 PM

I can't not do this! I do it every year. A bit like having too many snowballs.

It's a bit late to be opening up, but come in the cyber grotto and sit on my knee....what would you like for Christmas? You have to tell me in the kind of words that would be guaranteed to get me all excited (should that be your wish)

I haven't made much effort this year, so just come in, do your business and let's get it over with.

Wayne · 19th Dec 2006, 9:28 PM

Dear Santa Baynes, Can you get me a gig in Bolton someone soon please? :wayne

Captain Tancredi · 19th Dec 2006, 9:43 PM

Originally Posted by Carol Baynes

so just come in, do your business and let's get it over with.

Well, that would have been my first choice, but my second would be a best friend. Somebody who isn't necessarily into the same stuff, but is there on the end of the phone whenever I need him or her, and who calls every so often to see if I fancy going somewhere. Somebody who knows and understands me well enough so that I don't need to explain or excuse myself- and yet still somebody I can give to, who doesn't have something in their life that I can contribute.

**SiHart** · 19th Dec 2006, 9:44 PM

Dear Santa Baynes,

All my life I've wanyted a remoe control talking robot dog from TV's Doctor Who. Is it asking for too much that you give me one?

Si xx

**Carol Baynes** · 19th Dec 2006, 9:45 PM

I can't think of anywhere a man of your apparant class would play, Wayne! The Soundhouse is a bit indie and rock, Bergaracs is an indie disco, Hawthorns is closed and the rest are pubs of various reputations. I'll keep my senses peeled.

Get off now, you're hurting.

**Carol Baynes** · 19th Dec 2006, 9:50 PM

Si, your beloved other may be able to help. Otherwise, I'm reliably informed quarter sized robot dogs are all over the shops at the moment, and some places sell them cheaper. (Taps nose) you heard it here first.

Ian, a best friend isn't something you find in the shops, but they do come in all shapes and sizes. You have to love yourself for them though, as they can't always do that in the same way and can be very unreliable but full of wonderful life enriching surprises. I'm sure that's what the instruction manual said. They don't run on batteries though, which I think is marvellous!

Captain Tancredi · 19th Dec 2006, 10:01 PM

Originally Posted by Carol Baynes

I can't think of anywhere a man of your apparant class would play, Wayne! The Soundhouse is a bit indie and rock, Bergaracs is an indie disco, Hawthorns is closed and the rest are pubs of various reputations. I'll keep my senses peeled.

Get off now, you're hurting.

Stadium gig at the Reebok, surely...

Wayne · 19th Dec 2006, 10:09 PM

Well if there's no suitable venue in Bolton, i shall just have to go for a personal appearance at Chez Baynes.

:wayne (Just look at those fingers go!)

**Milky Tears** · 19th Dec 2006, 11:10 PM

I cannot enter the grotto this year as my tears will stain the curtains.

Pip Madeley · 19th Dec 2006, 11:31 PM

Dear Santa Baynes,

Will you work my shifts at the library so I can go and spend Christmas with the missus?

Yours festively,
Pip x

**Carol Baynes** · 20th Dec 2006, 7:25 PM

I won't be in any library this Christmas. Sorry, Pip!

James, just change your username to "Spunk" and let's get all the **** jokes out of the way!

**Pamela** · 21st Dec 2006, 10:06 AM

Originally Posted by Carol Baynes

James, just change your username to "Spunk" and let's get all the **** jokes out of the way!

Dear Santa Baynes, apart from world peace, for Christmas I'd like one night of sleep without manic dreams.

p.s. your hair's lovely that way

**Anthony Williams** · 21st Dec 2006, 12:47 PM

Dear Santa Baynes,

This Christmas, I would like the gift of uninterrupted sleep. I don't think it's too much to ask to be able to have a full night's sleep without being woken?

many thanks,
Ant x

**Milky Tears** · 21st Dec 2006, 6:26 PM

Santa Baynes' mucky words have sullied my Milky Innocence!!

She's gone too far and should be stripped of her cloak. A strongly worded letter is on its way the Worldwide Association of Naughty and Kinky Santas.

**Carol Baynes** · 21st Dec 2006, 7:13 PM

Awww, come under my cloak and I'll hug you tenderly.

I suggest Ant and Pam share my Bed of Peace tonight!

**Pamela** · 22nd Dec 2006, 10:28 AM

Originally Posted by Carol Baynes

I suggest Ant and Pam share my Bed of Peace tonight!

Awwwww! *sniffle* that sounds lovely

and/or a bit kinky.

**Si Hunt** · 22nd Dec 2006, 6:14 PM

Dear Santy Baines.

Please can I have something I can play with, and that's made of chocolate. And a toy. And popcorn.

Si.

**Carol Baynes** · 23rd Dec 2006, 11:26 AM

You'll have to be good!

This is the point where I rustle your hair and go "aww" as you run off to your Mum.

**Carol Baynes** · 24th Dec 2006, 8:36 PM

Last orders at the grotto!

**Si Hunt** · 24th Dec 2006, 8:48 PM

Please can I have something warm and great smelling before I go to bed?

Si.

**Carol Baynes** · 25th Dec 2006, 12:23 AM

I'm not available unfortunatly Si, but I would have offered myself.

Dave Lewis · 25th Dec 2006, 3:34 AM

Am I too late? It's barely Christmas Day...

I want the owner of this grotto, and everyone who has visited it, or looked at it, or seen it mentioned on the title page of PS, to have a splendid 2007.

**Lissa** · 26th Dec 2006, 5:15 PM

Is it half price to sit on your knee yet?

**Carol Baynes** · 27th Dec 2006, 4:18 PM

I'm closed!

**Dave Tudor** · 27th Dec 2006, 4:20 PM

*Dave, bangs on the door, sobbing, before being moved on by security.*

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