Lies To Tell New and Non-Fans

[Rob McCow]

The situation is this: You're watching a "Classic" series Doctor Who story with someone who doesn't know about Doctor Who prior to Eccleston. What lies could you make up about the story that the non/new fan would actually believe? The more outrageous the lie, the better!

So, for example, here's what you could say about An Unearthly Child.

1) The cliffhanger to part one was originally just the TARDIS landing in a strange new location; the shadow was actually one of the production team accidentally getting in the way of the lights.
2) Alternative titles for this story include "A Million Years Ago", "The Beginning", "A Creepy Schoolgirl" and "Doctor Who In An Exciting Adventure With The Tribe of Gum."
3) One of the original cavemen costumes was auctioned in 1992, fetching $300,000 for charity. Soon after acquiring the costume, the winning bidder contracted dysentry, diptheria, typhoid, tuberculosis, syphilis, the squits and a few other previously unclassified diseases.
4) The story was originally a 6-parter. Episodes 4 and 5 are missing. Fortunately, the cliffhanger at the end of part 3 is broadly the same as the one at the end of part 5. (This works for most Dr.Who stories).
5) This was Walt Disney's favourite Doctor Who story.

Choose a story - invent the lie.

[Ssarl]

The Space Pirates Episode 5 was filmed during the then-traditional BBC nude day, which makes it a pity that not a shred of photographic material has survived from it...

[Pip Madeley]

Robot

1) The scene featuring the newly-regenerated Doctor trying on different outfits from the TARDIS wardrobe was originally longer than broadcast - the Doctor is seen to try on an old-fashioned football kit, a monk's robe and a Red Star uniform from Star Trek.

2) Benton reveals in Part Two that he has been promoted to Warrant Officer. The original storyline had Benton promoted to Brigadier, as the character of Lethbridge-Stewart was to have been squashed to death by the giant K1 Robot during the finale.

3) Philip Hinchcliffe was meant to be begin his stint as the series Producer with this story, but just before pre-production began he was arrested for causing an afray with Robert Holmes in a Soho bar, and Barry Letts was drafted in at the last minute to take over 'Robot'.

4) Colin Baker was offered the role of Miss Winters, but he couldn't make the filming dates.

5) Part three of this story was thought to be lost forever, until it was returned in 1981 after police raided Ian Levine's house.

[SiHart]

Logopolis

1. Peter Davison played the Watcher and they made him stand in a field for hours in December 1980

2. All Australian Air Hostesses wore lilac uniforms in 1981.

3. The Radio Telescope dish used at the end may look like a model but that's how Jodrell Bank looks in real life.

4. Tom Baker was in a fantastic mood throughout the filming, loved his new companions and felt very at ease during the making of this story.

5. Aunty Vanessa was due to to be the new companion until they realised that Delore Whiteman and Janet Fielding's contracts had got muddled up in the post and so Christopher H. Bidmead had to do last minute rewrites to episode 1 to ensure that Tegan survived.
Si xx

[Dave Lewis]

The Trial Of A Time Lord

The whole idea is a mirror (i.e. piss-take) of the series being put 'on trial' in real life

The Valeyard is a distillation of the dark side of the Doctor's personality

Joan Sims, Brian Blessed, and the Oxo woman are guest stars

The Valeyard is from somewhere between the Doctor's twelth and thirteenth incarnations

Glitz and Dibber were created by the original series' greatest writer

The Valeyard is Mr Popplewick

The last episode was actually made to last even longer than every other episode in the season

The Valeyard is the Keeper Of The Matrix

They may not be lies but your classic-series-virgin pal still won't believe them.

[Pip Madeley]

The Ambassadors of Death

1) This story is unique for its opening credits, which show the previous episode's cliffhanger part-way through the title sequence. The reason for this is because during the final edit at BBC Pebble Mill, the BBC's only copy of Adobe Premiere 6.0 went up the wall, and the editing boffins didn't have enough time to rectify it.

2) The model sequences of Mars Probe 7 and Recovery 7 in space were stock footage taken from an episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus.

3) The inspiration for the name of Ralph Cornish came from when David Whitaker almost choked to death on a cornish pasty during writing.

[Jon Masters]

Terror of the Zygons

1. Was the only story to be filmed on location in Scotland, although Loch Tay had to be used for the depth charge scene as Nessie conservationists objected to them being used in Loch Ness.

2. All of the scenes in the Fox Inn were filmed on the King's Oak pub set of the soap Crossroads, so that they could be fitted into Angus Lennie's busy schedule.

3. The stop frame animation sequence of the Skarasen were subcontracted to the firm that eventually became Aardmann animations. However, when Barry Letts saw the sequence where the monster attacked from the Thames he deemed it too scary for children's television, and a hasty replacement using a glove puppet had to be filmed.

4. Hinchcliffe and Holmes were so keen on the Doctor's tartan outfit that they tried to get it made an official Gallifreyan tartan in the Highland Tartan records. Sadly the merchandise deal never came about.

5. The scene with Sister Lamont having been shot had to be written in after Dougie Camfield got over excited showing the UNIT extra how to aim his gun properly.

6. The New Series Aliens of London and World War 3 were to have originally featured the return of the Zygons. Sadly, Annette Badland's Zygon costume was deemed pornographic and RTD was forced to dream up the inferior Slitheen as a replacement.

[Dave Tudor]

Death To The Daleks

1. This story was originally meant to be a 12-part epic finale to Season Eleven, which would feature the final, final, final end of the Daleks, the return of several old enemies, the death of The Master, and the regeneration of The Third Doctor while saving his companion's life. However, when it was realised that scenes of thousands of Daleks flying through space and battling the Cybermen in an interdimensional war could never be filmed on a BBC budget, that Roger Delgado had died the previous year, and that Terry Nation had already used most of the ideas in 'The Daleks Master Plan' anyway, the original storyline was scrapped, with only the title remaining. Thus, 'the greatest Doctor Who story ever' became a dull four-parter about some spacemen p!ssing around in a quarry.

2. The changes to the story and the loss of eight of its episodes meant big alterations for the rest of the season. The terrifying four-part story 'Planet Of The Spiders' inherited two extra episodes and was shunted to the end of the season. With six weeks still left to fill, 'The Monster Of Peladon' was hurriedly written, just a week before that story's transmission.

3. As this was Jon Pertwee's final season, BBC bosses granted the series the luxury of its first ever overseas shoot, the scenes on the surface of Exxilon thus being filmed near Shanklin on the Isle of Wight.

4. John Abineri's toupee was stolen shortly after the production wrapped. It has never been found.

5. There was only actually one Dalek prop used in this story, but some clever camera angles on the part of director Michael Briant disguises this fact.

6. Elisabeth Sladen was originally meant to wear a bikini throughout the story, but Jon Pertwee felt that this was demeaning to the actress and so ordered that she wear that hideous brown trouser suit instead. The b@stard.

[Andrew Curnow]

With six weeks still left to fill, 'The Monster Of Peladon' was hurriedly written, just a week before that story's transmission

I think that one's actually true, Dave.

[Andrew Curnow]

The Twin Dilemma

Episode 2 of this story gained an audience figure of 14.2 million viewers, one of Doctor Who's highest ever figures.

In the aftermath of this story, Mestor sound-a-like masks, and 'Gooey Slug Trail In A Pot' became the top two Christmas gifts for children in 1984.

The sixth Doctor's costume was designed by Vivien Westwood, who is the lovechild of Norman Hartnell, who was William Hartnell's evil twin.

The DVD of this story is to be released in May - fortunately for all Doctor Who fans, the JN-T archives yielded up seven missing scenes from episode 1, including the infamous scene where Peri chooses her new outfit, which involves her getting nekkid.

The mathematics behind this story were checked out by Christopher H Bidmead, in association with Stephen Hawking, making this the most scientifically-accurate Doctor Who story of all time.

Helen Blatch is a crap actress.

[Rob McCow]

Vivien Westwood, who is the lovechild of Norman Hartnell, who was William Hartnell's evil twin.

But did Norman Hartnell get on well with Bernard Lee? I think you'll find that William was actually the 'evil' twin!

[Andrew Curnow]

Is that Bernard Lee, as in Christopher Lee's evil twin?

[Raston]

Arc of Infinity

1. Colin Bakers character is actually supposed to be the 6th doctor under cover.

2. Omega is actually the Doctors Father

3. Tegan was never really a companion, and it was an unusual ploy by the production team to introduce a new companion with a backstory linked to the Doctor.

4. A scene where Nyssa smoke cannabis was deleted from the final edit.

5. The Galifrey set was the same one as used for the 1969 story the war games

6. A scene where the doctor asks a prostitute for directions was deleted from the final edit.

[Stuart Wallis]

The Invasion

1. The entire story was recorded as a cartoon, but had to be re-recorded using real actors after Bill Cotton taped Crossroads over the originals.

2. Zoe's catsuit was originally meant for William Hartnell to wear in The War Machines, for no better reason than he liked it.

3. The Acton Guinness Works was chosen as a location because Pat Troughton had shares in the company.

[transvamp]

I hadn't seen Season 24 and one fan actually got me believing that the main reason it is considered the nadir of Doctor Who, is that there was a scene in it where Sylvester McCoy stuffs ferrets down his trousers. (mind you that'd still beat the blowjob gag and the emotional direlogue of Doomsday in terms of quality)

[Larry]

Colin and Tom Baker are brothers.

The TARDIS's police box shape was going to be changed into a porto-loo because young kids had no idea what a police box was..

William Hartnell, never wore a wig and it was all his own hair.

Doctor Who has never at any time been filmed in a quary

[Pip Madeley]

The Seeds of Doom

1. The Antarctic scenes were not actually filmed in Antarctica - they were filmed in the Arctic, which was much cheaper and easier for the BBC crew to get to.

2. The Doctor is the President of the Galactic Flora Society - the galaxy's foremost margarine.

3. Director and ex-Army soldier Douglas Camfield took his militaristic style of directing a little too far, when during location filming he actually held John Challis at court marshal for stealing one of his egg & mayonnaise sandwiches.

4. The character of Major Beresford was hastily added to the script when Nicholas Courtney (Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart) couldn't make filming dates - because he was on holiday in Geneva.

5. The Doctor and Sarah eventually get to Cassiopeia, in the 1986 four part story "Journey To Cassiopeia".

[Andrew Curnow]

Particularly numbers 1, 3, and 4!

[Pamela]

Sheena Easton was pencilled in as the new companion, but at the last minute it was decided that "Adric" should be a chap.

[Jonno]

Marco Polo was filmed in real time.

[SiHart]

Fans of The Green Death should note that much of the Wales countryside looks like a photographic blow up.

Si xx

[Stuart Wallis]

Thanks to The Mill, that's not so obvious in recent episodes...

[Larry]

all the missing episodes are not really missing but have been put in a seceret vault by the BBC as they are all being colourised for release in time for the 50th anniversary..

[Andrew Curnow]

The Celestial Toymaker is actually the first story to feature the Master, although he was known as the Toymaker at the time.

William Hartnell was actually present for the recording of all four episodes - the 'invisible' plot was cobbled together quickly after he got an enormous wart on his nose and was too vain to be filmed.

The original story was six episodes long, but an extended snakes & ladders sequence which would have taken up the middle two episodes was quickly abandoned after Jackie Lane was bitten by a cobra in rehearsals.

Peter Purves was actually played by John Noakes in a wig.

[Pip Madeley]

The original story was six episodes long, but an extended snakes & ladders sequence which would have taken up the middle two episodes was quickly abandoned after Jackie Lane was bitten by a cobra in rehearsals.