Doctor Who Autobiographies

**Si Hunt** · 17th Feb 2009, 11:05 PM

It makes you realise how TV has moved on. Sladen walks to the door and looks meaningful. A man approaches the door, comes in, then leaves again. And five minutes of prime time have passed! At least it explains how they knocked out eight series of "Tenko".

Si.

**P-Bal** · 17th Feb 2009, 11:15 PM

Her book needed to be a well creased copy of Razzle.

**Simon R** · 17th Feb 2009, 11:30 PM

I honestly don't know who that witch-hag in sunglasses is.

I want to say Susan Jameson but only because her name is listed on IMDB.

Wayne · 17th Feb 2009, 11:39 PM

Originally Posted by Simon R

Not as fit as that woman's sunglasses in the clip.

That was a woman?

**Rob McCow** · 18th Feb 2009, 12:23 PM

We've got a whole raft of autobiographies coming out soon. There's Barry Letts, Sladen and Debbie Watling, plus numerous others on the way.

The hardest part of writing an autobiography is chosing the title. How can you sum up a life in a book, let alone a few words? Generic ones have included 'Who and Me' and 'Who On Earth Is Tom Baker'. More outlandish ones have included 'Moon Boots and Dinner Suits', but what do you expect from Pertwee?

And utterly rubbish ones have included 'Script Doctor'. By Andrew Cartmel. And (good grief) 'The Writer's Tale'. Obviously they need some inspiration.

So let's give them a hand!

What should the stars of Who call their autobiographies? If they've sadly passed on, what SHOULD they have called their autobiographies? Or if they've done hundreds of other things, what should the chapter that deals with their time on Doctor Who be called?

Here's a couple of examples:

John Barrowman (sequel) - Is It In Me?

Ian Levine - Sex, Pies and Videotape.

Katy Manning - What The Dalek Saw.

John Nathan Turner - Stay Tuned, I'm Delighted, My Next Autobiography Could Be A Woman!

**Dino** · 18th Feb 2009, 12:50 PM

Noel Clarke-Has Tennant Got A Bafta?...Well Has He Directed Two Films Then?

Pip Madeley · 18th Feb 2009, 1:57 PM

John Nathan-Turner - His Memory Cheats

Eric Saward - It Wasn't Me

Ian Levine - A Life In Pies

Andrew Cartmel - Simply The Best (Better Than All The Rest)

Mark Ayres - Wired For Sound

**Antony Cox** · 18th Feb 2009, 3:03 PM

Patrick Troughton – Oh, My Words!
Dudley Simpson – Incidentally…
Christopher HAMILTON Bidmead - Simply The Best (Better Than All The Rest, Especially Andrew Cartmel)

**Rob McCow** · 18th Feb 2009, 3:13 PM

Shouldn't that be:

Christopher H Bidmead - Pancornucastropinocothecogopolis!

**Ian Lethbridge-Stewart** · 18th Feb 2009, 4:00 PM

Colin Baker & Nicola Bryant: The Bold and the Beautiful
Gary Downing: Making Magic
Ian Levine: It is totally unreasonable, however, to expect anyone to read this book
Bonnie Langford: My time on Doctor Who - It was a scream!
Paul Monk: A slice of time, of life and of Battenburg

**Ian Lethbridge-Stewart** · 18th Feb 2009, 4:10 PM

Originally Posted by Simon R

I honestly don't know who that witch-hag in sunglasses is.

I want to say Susan Jameson but only because her name is listed on IMDB.

It could be her; the trouble is you don't get to hear much of her voice. If there were more lines in that clip then I think you'd be able to recognise Susan Jameson's voice

**SiHart** · 18th Feb 2009, 4:11 PM

James Bree: What a Stupid Fool I Was
Cyril Shaps: Two Autobiographies in one Lifetime is Most Irregular
Sarah Sutton: I Know So Very Little About Telly-Star-Autobiographies.

Si xx

**Lissa** · 18th Feb 2009, 5:26 PM

Jane Baker - An Almanac of Commoving Narratives Regarding a Celebrated Gentlewoman Wordsmith and her Husband Pip.

Pip Madeley · 18th Feb 2009, 7:15 PM

Maureen O'Brien - Me And My Mushroomy Tip

Matthew Waterhouse - The Lost Boy

Janet Fielding - Rabbits!

Alvin Rakoff - Autobiographies Jackie Hill appeared in include...

**Andrew Curnow** · 18th Feb 2009, 8:00 PM

I can't think of any at the moment, but

@ all the suggestions so far, particularly Si & Lissa's

**P-Bal** · 18th Feb 2009, 10:16 PM

Any suggestions for Miss Watling will be carefully considered!

**SiHart** · 18th Feb 2009, 10:20 PM

How about All Whooshed Up- The Deborah Watling Story?

Si xx

**Lissa** · 18th Feb 2009, 10:22 PM

"Direct Debbie" would instil confidence that the book is safe, convenient and fully guaranteed.

Pip Madeley · 18th Feb 2009, 10:26 PM

Deb's Delight any good?

**Si Hunt** · 18th Feb 2009, 11:00 PM

"Up yer back passage Miss Waterfield!..."

and along the bottom - "... and other stories."

(in cheeky font with a heart where the 'a' of 'back' should be)

With a picture of her in shades and bright red nails doing a 'Sssssh!' gesture with finger to lips in between.

Si.

**Rob McCow** · 19th Feb 2009, 8:24 AM

'Can You Scream A Bit Louder, Please?' Or something to do with screaming. Perhaps not 'Old Leatherlungs Rides Again'.

**P-Bal** · 19th Feb 2009, 7:46 PM

I'm just going to mention that no royalties will be paid to the winning suggestion...

**Simon R** · 19th Feb 2009, 8:38 PM

"Scream If You Wanna Go Faster"

"Debbie Does...."

"Stretching, Screaming But Loving It"

**Jon Masters** · 19th Feb 2009, 10:08 PM

Bob Holmes - " Scare the Little Buggers" or "Hammer Graverobber"

Terrance Dicks - "Gween is the Colour"

David Whittaker - " Mercury Rising"

Dave Martin & Bob Baker - "Not on that budget"

Ben Aaronovitch - " Publication date TBC"

Eric Saward - " It's not my Fault"

Ian Briggs - "Ace Times "

**Dave Tudor** · 20th Feb 2009, 11:03 AM

Deborah Watling:

YOU KNOW MY NAME!!! or...

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT!? or...

WHO WAS THAT TERRIBLE WOMAN!?

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