What to do in case of SONIC ATTACK!

[Wayne]

In case of Sonic Attack on your district,
follow these rules.....
If you are making love, it is imperative to bring all bodies to orgasm simultaneously
Do not waste time blocking your ears
Do not waste time seeking a soundproof shelter
Try to get as far away from the sonic source as possible, but do not panic.....
Use your wheels, it is what they are for
Small babies may be placed inside the special cocoons, which should be left if possible, in a shelter
Do not attempt to use your own limbs
If no wheels are available, metal, not organic, limbs should be employed whenever practical.....
Remember, in the case of Sonic Attack,
Survival does mean every man for himself
Statistically more people survive
if they think only of themselves

Do not attempt to rescue friends,
relatives, or loved ones.
You have only a few seconds to escape
Use those seconds sensibly or you will inevitably die
Do not panic
Think only of yourselves....

These are the first signs of Sonic Attack:
You will notice small objects, such as ornaments, oscillating.
You will notice a vibration in your diaphragm
You will hear a distant hissing in your ears
You will feel dizzy
You will feel the need to vomit
There will be bleeding from orifices
There will be an ache in the pelvic region
You may be subject to fits of hysterical shouting,
or even laughter
These are all signs of imminent Sonic destruction
Your only real protection is flight
If you are less than ten years old,
then remain in your shelter and use your cocoon
But remember: You can help no-one else,
No-one else,
No-one else......

[Jeff]

The wind... it smells of hawk.

[Pip Madeley]

The wind... it smells of hawk.

I think that's just Wayne's feet.

[Brian]

Do Not Bring Hawkwind to This Bar!!!!

[RetroRobot]

Grittings Dirtbeing!

I was lurking about the threads a bit whilst playing 'It Is The Business Of The Future To Be Dangerous' in the b/g and ran into your posts-avec-H'Wbanner 3 times and then hit this one!

Too much synchronicity to ignore so i signed on (as you do) to say hello and a little something silly...

As for your splendid rendition of 'Totally Sonic'd Attack' i can only say that you piked at the end by not enough relentless repetitions of "You can help no-one else"... (you can't always get what you need, but if you're sly sometimes you can take what you want)

cheers & jeers

RetroRobot
(who wishes he knew how to import one of Alden Bates' fab & marvey Dalek emoticonotrons, but being a steam-driven thing and not up on the digital bit - a drawback of claws - will have to settle for my own little textlogo):

(.|||[:]::::[|

"RetroRobots Conquer and Enjoy!"

[* both Nik Turner AND Dave Brock attest that the TRUE origin of the name is due to Turner's habit of gobbing the audience ("hawk") and Barney Bubbles' prodigious Crepitations ("wind") - i, of course, believe this - usually b4 breakfast(or-slow) ]

[Wayne]

Well, i never expected to see this thread again!

You might be interested in this thread as well.