Season 3 Review Bag er - ah - Backwards!

[Rob McCow]

WOTAN: Si and Steve YOUR Review is re-qu-ir-ed!

SI-TAN: Who are we to refuse the creator of the internet?

ROB-TAN: (on the phone) Grr... argh! Must... obey! WOTAN!

The War Machines
(Or, as we call it, The One Machines)

Si: It's our final contemporary Earth invasion story for sometime, and it's a bit god. Not extremely good, but it does have some fine moments. For a start, as we've noted before, Polly and Ben are simply fabulous, and they act poor old Jackie Lane off the screen. They're of their time, and just show up what a poor character Dodo is/ was. Dispite this, the way she's sent off to the country without saying goodbye is a bit mean spirited.
The story is quite good. Fancy them predicting that computers might be connected in some kind of way and talk to each other! Ridiculous! WOTAN isn't as much fun as BOSS was though!
Isn't it great to see Hartnell striding round London in a big cloak and Astrakan Hat? Did you like that Rob?

Rob: Well, Si, I don't suppose... No, I don't suppose you do.
Hartnell is outstanding. My favourite bit of this story is the episode 3 cliffhanger, where the army is being wiped out by the War Machine, but Hartnell just stands his ground as it advances on him. It's as though he can stop it with just the steely glint in his eye.
Hartnell's on good, but not perfect form in this story. It's amusing to watch Sir Charles try to catch up as (seemingly) Hartnell brings the script down around his ears. Those moments are more than made up for by the delivery of lines like 'Fab Gear' though!
There's something about this review... I can sense it. It's like back when the Daleks, the Daleks... something EVIL! Yes!

Si: Oh! They've finished the Post Office Tower then. Hooray!
The story is really well shot- there's the high shots of London which make it seem special, and the lovely shot of the TARDIS arriving filmed from the top of Centrepoint is brilliant. It's it's sheer 60'sness that raises this out of the norm for me I think, because it's not something you get to see in the rest of the Hartnell era. A brave attempt to reformat the series, and one that had a lasting effect I think! But not for us. we're done with invasions of London!

Rob: I give this story Machine Number 9 out of 10, but there are a dozen more sites around London!
My reacting vibrator tells me the next story is due...

The Savages
(Or as we call it The Sandwiches)

Si: What I like about The Savages is the fabulous incidental music. the strings are really different to what you normally hear in Doctor Who and it really adds a great deal to the atmosphere.
This is an odd story though. It seems really out of place that the people of this unnamed planet have been tracking the Doctor's travels and waiting for him to visit with his reacting vibrator (sorry I just had to mention that!) and then they just drain away all his life force! Oh my! Perhaps the production team were trying whatever they could to get Hartnell to leave!
What did you like in this one Mr McCow?

Rob: It's a really perilous story. The Elders have these great Light Guns that turn people into zombies and whenever Steven or whoever gets blasted, that's it, there's no escape! Plus the Doctor loses his marbles, which is always worrying. I can't think of an occassion where the Doctor takes this much of a beating. Pertwee wouldn't have stood up with someone doing an impression of him for half the story! Although he might have liked someone sucking his life force.
It's goodbye to Steven Taylor, the Randy Sailor (or astronaut or something. It's not worth arguing about). He takes every opportunity to debate, disagree and contradict the Doctor. I think Doctor Who was determined to shed his companions at this point - it's utterly ridiculous that Steven should lead the Savages. Just as strange that he should get rid of Dodo so quickly. When he picked her up, she reminded him of Susan, but his illusions were soon shattered!

Si: I rather like Steven. He's nice and feisty which is fun to watch, even if his arguing sometimes becomes a bit tedious.
Also fun was Freddie Jaeger's impersonation of Hartnell, which from the vocals at least come across very well indeed. He get's him just right... right down to the Hmmms and the little giggle/chuckle! It's nice that the stpry is resolved by the Doctor's personality infecting Jano and him becoming a better person because of it. I like that.

Rob: I give this one the life juices of five Savages out of ten.

Ms.Dupree: It's time to get your rootin' tootin' shootin' reviewin' shoes on!

The Gunfighters
(or, as we know it, the Much Maligned The Gunfighters)

Rob: We like this story, we like it a lot.
We'll review it in rhyme, that'll be easy, not.
Oh forget that for a shot of whisky! The reason Gunfighters is essentially brilliant is because it's so funny. There, that's critical and in-depth, isn't it?

Si: I like Hartnell calling Wyatt Earp, Mr Werp
I don't think it make's him look like a twerp
It's got Peter Purves singing, got Dodo Dupont
It's got the voice of Linda Barron, what more could you want?
There's the nasty death of Charlie the barman who's shot
People say it's not funny, that's complete rot!
This visit to Tombstone is over too soon
There's great fun to be had at the Last Chance Saloon!

Johnny Ringo: Stop right there!

Rob: Jooooneey Ringoah! He didn't mean no offence sir... we're just humble reviewers... Be a good man and put that gun away now.
It's a lot of fun anyway.
I keep giving this story guns and it doesn't like it out of 10.

Toymaker: Go from review 138!

PRTTTTTTTT - TING! TING! PRTTTTTT TING! TING!

The Celestial Toymaker
(or as we know it, The Despicable Boyraker)

Rob: We're under some form of attack and only our hands will be visible during this review. We also have to type it in the same time it takes for Steven and Dodo to play some shockingly dull games! Oh dear that's a challenge and no mistake.
This is a story that promises much. You have a mythical character that the Doctor is scared of, played by an outstanding actor, wearing an awesome hat. Do you enjoy our little games, Simon?

Si: If I'm being honest, not very much. It's such a great premise isn't it, toys and games turning bad and scary, but here it's done almost ineptly. You only have to look at episode 4 with it's long and tedious game of TARDIS hopscotch to see that. The threat is missing. The tone isn't quite right and you have Dodo reminding you that that the toys are a bit creepy now all the time. *sigh*
The games are too banal. The puzzles aren't quite puzzling enough either, and the story reflects it's muddled origins and the fact that three writers worked on it.
Good music though!

Dodo: Steven! This review isn't funny anymore.

Rob: There are moments of brilliance. I love it when the Toymaker is furiously throwing his dolls back in the box, saying how they failed him. The ending is good, but it isn't quite as brilliant as it thinks it is. The Doctor is undoubtedly very clever in foiling the Toymaker and it's extremely satisfying as his realm is destroyed. Perhaps if one of the other episodes existed, it would be more enjoyable.
I give this story four legs, no feet; Of arms no lack; No burden on its back; Six deadly sisters, seven for choice out of 10.
Keep an eye out for our next review, Si!

Monoid One: We must prepare for the main reviewings!

The Ark
(Or as we know it, An Offer You Can't Refusian.)

Rob: What to make of this story? It's a divided affair, split down the middle. A game of two halves. Double trouble for the Doctor. It also seems to be the most expensive story of the Hartnell era. There's more than one huge set, a trip to Ealing, model work, giant feets, elephants, invisible effects and the even the security kitchen sink. Superb! Did you like the overacting old codger in this story?

Guardian: All this was in the first segment of the review... we are NOW in the 57th segment...

Si: We loved Zentos the chief guardian! The actror who played him was obviously even madder than Hartnell, and he guffaws his way through the part stressing the advances of the 57th segment of time over the 1st and we loved the way he stresses all the wrong words in every sentence!
I also have to say i loved Hartnell being naughty in the last episode and telling the Monoids he hadn't seen the Refusians! Not a very funny joke perhaps but when you add in Hartnell's loveable chortles, it's great!
What did you make of the villains of the story Rob?

Rob: Villains? I didn't SEE any villains in this story!

Oh you mean the Monoids. And Dodo's flu germs, I suppose. The TARDIS crew really suffered this season, with colds, toothaches and septic stab wounds.
Dodo is the real villain of the Ark. Thanks to Dodo, humanity enjoyed thousands of years of servitude under the singular gaze of the Monoids. The bubble really burst for the Doctor here - Dodo was no replacement for his grand-daughter!
I wonder about the whole 57 segments of time stuff. The first segment seems to last for around 4,000 years, but the other 56 could last less than a week for all we know.
I also love the bit where the statue is chucked out of the spaceship.

I give this story 57 segments of time out of 10!

Rob: It is I, The Robert Of Amboise.

Si: Excellent. I'd love some rice pudding!

[Rob McCow]

PART TWO!

The Massacre
(or as we know it, Doctor Who In A Not Very Exciting Adventure At The Massacre of Saint Bartholomew's Evening Dress)

Si: For just about the first time ever, i found I really enjoyed this story. I was gripped by the intrigue and subterfuge and I thought Steven was written and played brilliantly. In some ways his complete lack of understanding of what's going on and what is at stake in the story mirrors that of the audience as it's not one of the better known periods of history, and that's a good way to get the audience into the story. It worked for me this time.
Not having the Doctor around ups the stakes in a massive way. Especially as his portrayal of the Abbot is so chillingly different to his Doctor.

Rob: I suspect the Massacre is a great story, but I can't really be sure. The Target book is a classic, but with the audio only the names swim in my head a bit. There's curfews and political intrigue and stuff, but it's all rather bewildering. Even telesnaps would help to distinguish between characters like Preslin, Admiral de Coligny, Gaston... et al.
One star though is the Queen Mother, the forehead bothering Catherine de Medici. Her hold over King Charles is delightfully disturbing.
And why couldn't the Doctor take Anne Chaplet with him? What did you make of the last few scenes, Si?

Si: I can quite understand why Steven is so angry with the Doctor. It's such a bizarre ending in Paris isn't it, with the Doctor just appearing out of nowhere, giving no clue as to whether he's been impersonating the Abbot or not and suddenly dragging Steven away before the massacre begins. I think I'd be very angry too expecially when the one person he's been close to is more than likely about to die...
It gives Hartnell a very, very good speech, and he rises to the challenge brilliantly. It's just a shame that the arrival of Dodo spolis the mood somewhat. His glee at having her there just seems, a bit, well, odd really and doesn't quite fit with the dramatic and thoughtful mood of the scenes before it.

Rob: Oh, I quite like that bit!
I give this story 7 plummy male voices out of 10.

Chen: DELEGATES!!! I give you... the CORE of the REVIEW DESTRUCTOR! A full Emm of TerryNationium!

The Daleks' Masterplan
(Or as we call it, if you just watch the remaining episodes, the Daleks' Faster Plan.)

Rob: Well, it was PS's favourite story of the Hartnell era. Quite right too! This story has MORE! More companions, more locations, more padding than any other!

Doctor Who: The Daleks will stop at anything to get to the end of this review. Even a silly joke in the middle. Now will you review... Si!

Si: Epic! I love the doomy atmosphere of the first few episodes. There seems to be so much at stake throughout them and the unexpected death of Katarina reinforces that. This a story where the stakes are higher than ever before, and you don't know who's going to survive to the end.
Of course, the central character is the ever so slightly camp Magic Mavic Chen. From his strange way of writing (I love that) to his bitchy asides about the other delegates through to his swatting the Dalek eyestick away, he's just great. One of the finest villains in the show's history, very well played by Kevin Stoney.

Trantis (or someone): If it has taken so long to write all this, why was not one of us asked to review it?

Rob: I, Rob McCow say that this story is a classic! And we haven't even mentioned the Meddling Monk. I wonder if he had to choose his disguise? Would the Doctor have been so perturbed by The Bumbling Bishop? What about the Vicarious Vicar? Or the Amiable Arch-Deacon? The Rumbunctious Rector? And rest.
I Rob McCow, give The Daleks Masterplan two dead companions, three counting Bret Vyon who's vyon for our attentions, out of 10!

Can we have a break now? Hartnell must have had 12 weeks off by this point!

Paris: It's a bit late to say 'Woah!' to this review!

The Myth Makers
(Or as we know it, Where's Nick Briggs?)

Si: Witty, clever, funny!

Rob: Enough about me, what about the story?

Si: That is what i thought of the story! I love this one. I laughed at the jokes, I found the premise rather amusing and sophisticated and the characters are played exactly right. It's difficult to say much more. I just know that I really enjoyed it! Perhaps Rob can up with something...

Rob: It's the wittiest script the show would have for over a decade, that's what it is. (Coincidentally, over a decade is how long this review has been going). For people who know the story, it subverts the main characters wonderfully. The mysterious, powerfull Cassandra becomes a loony witch who is barely tolerated. Menelaus is fed up with the war that has been going on for 10 years and totally unaware that his wife is unfaithfull. For those unfamiliar with the Greeks and Trojans, the characters are such fun it works anyway. 'Did you chase him round and round until he died of exhaustion?' and the Doctor's suggestion of paper darts flung by catapults, which he sticks with until the Greeks suggest he become a test pilot.
Even the episode titles are superb.
I give this story 10 long years before it sees it's homeland again out of 10. But don't look a gift-horse in the mouth, just worry about it's fetlocks.

Marc Cory: Calling Earth! The Daleks are planning something! And this review is just going on and on!

Mission to the Unknown
(Or as we know it, Dalek Hangover).

Si: Doomy! Atmospheric! Pure Terry Nation! Vargas! Daleks! Delegates! These things make it a great little teaser episode! There's not much else to say. It's well played and it must have been really odd at the time- which just makes it a little bit better!

Rob: I gave this episode a thorn in my hand out of ten... must kill... must kill... must kill.

Maaga is coming!

Galaxy 4
(Or as we know it, Maaga vs the Jumbly Chumblies)

Rob: For those few of you still with us, we love Galaxy 4. Don't worry - this review for 400 more dawns. This review has only two more dawns - tomorrow is the last paragraph this review will ever see. Dishy Drahvins, Rascally Rills, Jumbly Chumblies, this story is brilliant. The Rills even have Drills!

Rill: WE ARE VERY PLUMMY RILLS! WE GOT OUR PLUMMINESS DIRECT FROM THE WAY THAT VICKI SPEAKS!!!

Rob: We've had hours of funs perfecting our Jumbly impressions.

Si: The Radiophonic Workshop do us proud for the this story. The Chumbly sound effects are incredibly good and really easy to impersonate. Especially when they're braodcasting to the Drahvins... and the moving sound is good. It brings them to life wonderfully.
The plot might be small- there's no real B-Plot going on, but that doesn't make it any less enjoyable. Yes, the pretty is bad, ugly is good moral might seem simplistic, but it works rather nicely I think. I think this is a nice little story and it's a very enjoyable listen.

Rob: I give this one a sort of Chumbly motion out of 10.


Si: So that was season 3 then. A big season, a varied season and overall a pretty good one really. Not as great as season 4, but not far off!

Rob: Season 3 saw Doctor Who in wildly experimental mode. This season has it all, chases and races, cowboys and Trojans, Daleks and delegates, thrills and Rills. It's got more companions than Peter Davison and more missing episodes than lots of other seasons. Hurrahzen fahzen.

I'm looking forward to seeing more of the episodes rather than just listening! Will we run into that Prattling Priest again? I'm wearing my space helmet just in case. It's a helmet for a McCow!

Si: I'm so sorry.

[Larry]

nice witty review ..

[Wayne]

A fun read as ever guys! I look forward to hearing the Chumbley impressions at the next meet.

[Andrew Curnow]

Another classic from Hart 'n' McCow - it makes me want to go and watch season 3 right away!

[Rob McCow]

Most kind... although I demand a response as long as our unreasonably long review!

Writing this one took forever, but it STILL wasn't as hard as the Season 15 review.

[Pip Madeley]

As ever, a bloody good read guys, thank you

Perhaps when you're done, they can go on the website?

[Rob McCow]

Oh quite possibly! The end is in sight now, after all. How long have we been doing this? 4 years? Pertwee took a year, so did Tom, Troughton and one season of Hartnell were done last year... my oh my.

[SiHart]

4 years this April I believe we started this foolish undertaking! They keep making the seasons longer just to make it more difficult.

Thank you all, for making it through the lengthy review and as always for all your kind comments.

Si xx

[Logo Polish]

They start getting shorter now, so should be a bit easier for the next two.

Well done, a fun overview.

[Martin Penny]

I'm not really familiar with Season Three, so didn't really get a lot of this one! But I still enjoyed it, this in particular had me laughing for ages:

Would the Doctor have been so perturbed by The Bumbling Bishop? What about the Vicarious Vicar? Or the Amiable Arch-Deacon? The Rumbunctious Rector? And rest.

The Pesky Pope? No?

[SiHart]

Damn you Martin! We forgot about the Pope!

Si xx

[Zbigniev Hamson]

What's the whole idea with the backwards reviewing thing anyway?

[Zbigniev Hamson]

I realise I'm leaving this rather late in the day to ask

[SiHart]

Well, fortunately we're always happy to explain our silly ideas...

One of our first dates was a shopping trip round London together (almost four years ago fact fans) where Steve raided the HMV sale for cheap Doctor Who videos, and bought, among others, a copy of Survival. We got home and watched that together, thoroughly enjoying it I might add.
Anyway, when the time came a little late, to decide what Doctor Who story to watch together next one of us had the idea of watching Fenric, and we were off...

Reviewing came later- we did the whole McCoy era in a space shorter than our S3 review, then Trial... and then a season at a time. The matching banners and avatars came with Season 18 (my favourite, as everyone knows) and carried on from there backwards, and now here we are, almost four years later almost done. We're not rushing through it.

Si xx

[Zbigniev Hamson]

It all (sort of) makes sense now. What will you do when you run out though? Quatermass backwards?

[Andrew Curnow]

They're heading back in time, back to the first event - the creation of Doctor Who out of a huge inrush of frantic rewrites and flea-ridden cavemen.

[SiHart]

After season 1 we're planning to do the Dalek films, Delta and the Bannermen and The Dominators... imagine the banner!

Si xx

[Larry]

Well, fortunately we're always happy to explain our silly ideas...

One of our first dates was a shopping trip round London together (almost four years ago fact fans) where Steve raided the HMV sale for cheap Doctor Who videos, and bought, among others, a copy of Survival. We got home and watched that together, thoroughly enjoying it I might add.
Anyway, when the time came a little late, to decide what Doctor Who story to watch together next one of us had the idea of watching Fenric, and we were off...

Reviewing came later- we did the whole McCoy era in a space shorter than our S3 review, then Trial... and then a season at a time. The matching banners and avatars came with Season 18 (my favourite, as everyone knows) and carried on from there backwards, and now here we are, almost four years later almost done. We're not rushing through it.

Si xx

your certainly not.

I'm doing it the boring way watching it start to finish having started last september i'm all ready up to season 15 - (all though I did not bother with the missing episode audios). So i'm hoping to finish some time this year.

[Rob McCow]

As Paul Cornell once said, it's become a lifestyle rather than a voyage through the past.

[The Secretive Bus]

Season 3 is probably one of my favourite seasons of the show. Despite missing quite a few episodes, Billy gives some of the best performances of his tenure and he's a huge delight to watch in the comedy stories. The Doctor and Steven spark off each other really well. A shame Vicki couldn't have remained throughout the season as I've always thought she was massively underrated and far better than dull old Dodo (though I certainly don't actively dislike the latter character). Plus the season's so varied! Moral tale, one episode teaser, a literary satire, an action-packed space epic, a serious historical... It just goes on. Sure, not every story is a winner but there's some real gems in there. The Myth Makers and The Massacre in particular are absolutely wonderful, and The Gunfighters is a great laugh.

[Pip Madeley]

Mr Barnes sums it up for me perfectly.

Except for the bit about the Yawn Makers beeing wonderful.

[Rob McCow]

Ah, if only we always felt exactly the same as Dave, then we would never have to write a review! Just a one line post to say that we agreed with him

far better than dull old Dodo (though I certainly don't actively dislike the latter character).

I don't hate Dodo either, but it's quite clear that the Doctor is bitterly disappointed that she's nothing like his Grand-daughter after all. He only let her on board the TARDIS because she looked a bit like Susan, but within a few stories he can't wait to get rid of her!