Love

[Si Hunt]

I was reading about a NASA employee who drove 1000 miles to pepper spray and kidnap a love rival for a rocket pilot. It got me thinking, once again, about the funny things people do for love. And what a funny thing it is.

So I thought it would be good to have an unsentimental (or sentimental) chat about the nature of love. Like death, it's something that a scientific world lives with, but cannot either deny or explain. What makes someone decide that someone is "the one for them"? As human beings you'd think it would benefit the propagation of the species for us to be promiscuous. Yet most of us spend our lives searching for the one to be with forever, not the means to birthing or fathering our next child.

Do you believe there is someone for everyone? Is there more than one special someone, or do you only ever get one chance at happiness? What is responsible for that special attachment that can sometimes strike, and why are some people drawn to others while some people leave them cold.

What is love?

Si.

[Trudi G]

I think most people fall in love with people who are similar to themselves, i.e. same social background, same values etc. Chemistry also plays a big part. Alot of people mistake lust for love, and those are the relationships that usually fizzle out after a while. Love can very easily turn to hate though, if that person you love does something unforgivable and hurts your feelings, the feeling of hate you can have for them can be more powerful than the love you felt before!

[Pip Madeley]

What is love?

Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.

Trudi's right I think. Although lust can indeed be mistaken for love,
I think sexual attraction still plays a part in love.

[Milky Tears]

Worship him!

[Wayne]

Love, Infatuation, Lust, Obsession!

I still don't know the difference!

I suppose if you ask yourself: 'Would i give up my life to save the life of one that i love?', & the answer comes out 'Yes', then i guess that's love.

[Paul Monk]

What is love?

When I read that line I immediately saw a soft focus picture of some alien hottie in a short skirt staring dreamily up at Jim Kirk.
Cue the strings and the mighty Shat forcefully pulling her into a clinch.

[Si Hunt]

You can keep your mighty Shat.

'Would i give up my life to save the life of one that i love?', & the answer comes out 'Yes', then i guess that's love.

I guess that depends on how much you value your own life. I don't want to get into who we'd all do that before, because I guess you'd never know until it came to the crunch, but I don't know that it would really define who I love. I'm sure there are some friends I'd do that for, and that's a different kind of love.

Is it fair to say you can love someone, in every sense of the word, not family love, that you don't want to have sex with? Which kind of cancels out the "has to be some lust" theory.

Si.

[Wayne]

You can keep your mighty Shat.

I guess that depends on how much you value your own life. I don't want to get into who we'd all do that before, because I guess you'd never know until it came to the crunch, but I don't know that it would really define who I love. I'm sure there are some friends I'd do that for, and that's a different kind of love.

Is it fair to say you can love someone, in every sense of the word, not family love, that you don't want to have sex with? Which kind of cancels out the "has to be some lust" theory.
Si.

Quite. I'm sure when push comes to shove, most of us value our lives a helluva lot. But i'm also sure that there are people here that are parents who value their own lives a lot, but who still would willingly put their children's lives ahead of their own.
But yes, there are many kinds of love, to be sure. Including as you say, the love for a friend that doesn't have to have any sexual element to it whatsoever.

[Jeff]

But i'm also sure that there are people here that are parents who value their own lives a lot, but who still would willingly put their children's lives ahead of their own

You can count on it.

It's been said that there is no greater love in the world than that of a parent for his or her child. Unfortunately, that isn't true in all cases, but it should be. And yes, I believe regardless, that that statment is true.

[WhiteCrow]

I think most people fall in love with people who are similar to themselves, i.e. same social background, same values etc.

Dunno - I think you like people for the similarities, but you love them for the differences.

I think a good relationship is when you can take your partner by the hand and say that together you make a complete person. Like minded yes, but also that you complement each other too.

[Simon R]

I don't know much about this love thing but I know "Luv" was a lost Carla Lane shit-com starring Dame Julie Peasgood.

That's all one needs to know.

[Jeff]

It's a pretty good album and 5.1 audio DVD from The Beatles too...

[Dave Lewis]

Let me put it this way...

In "Nuns On The Run", when Charlie (Robbie Coltrane) implies that Faith (Camille Coduri) must be a good shag, based on a misunderstanding about how she earns money, Brian (Eric Idle) refutes this.

Brian: "It's not like that. We talk... we hold hands... we kiss... it's nothing."

Charlie: "You're in love with her?"


Too right. This is the best description of love that has ever existed.

[buglass]

Love is inconvenient.

[WhiteCrow]

Love is inconvenient.

You git - you've just now reminded me of those awful cutesy "Love Is ..." cartoons from the 70s ... nooooo!



Now pass me a sick bag

[Ralph]

Do you believe there is someone for everyone? Is there more than one special someone, or do you only ever get one chance at happiness? What is responsible for that special attachment that can sometimes strike, and why are some people drawn to others while some people leave them cold.

What is love?

Si.

I think there is someone for everyone and I do believe you only get a few chances. It's amazing how you can adapt to life again without that feeling but I guess you simply have too. I reckon there's only so many people that can really be your soulmate.

In answer to the attraction question - that is a difficult one to answer - I think there is simply an intangible feeling when you meet every person where you naturally feel comfortable or not. There's people where you are just effortlessly instant natural friends or where the sexual chemistry kicks in you just get a major feeling of attraction. I think people from similar backgrounds works very well but with sufficently different characteristics.

[Captain Tancredi]

Do you believe there is someone for everyone? Is there more than one special someone, or do you only ever get one chance at happiness? What is responsible for that special attachment that can sometimes strike, and why are some people drawn to others while some people leave them cold.

What is love?

Si.

I don't necessarily believe in there being one perfect person for everybody- I think most people are capable of being in a relationship with most other people as long as they can work the boundaries out between themselves. My aunt has been married three times- the first time lasted for about sixteen years until they separated and the second for about ten until she was widowed, but her three husbands have been very different men and all have made her happy in different ways.

I think that what's crucial is that we all have different needs that the people who only know us from the outside can't even guess at. I'm more likely to respond to somebody who takes me to one side quietly to get to know me than somebody who makes a direct approach- but the only way anybody is ever going to find that out is by trying.

But "love" is such an imprecise word- so vague now that it's practically meaningless- and seems to cover everything from your favourite flavour of ice cream to some very dark and twisted relationships. I used to know a man in the church I belonged to in Canterbury who had a sweatshirt with the line "To love is to be happy with", and I think that's the best definition I've seen- and the handful of times when I've actually felt that way about somebody and being myself with them are beyond description.

[Mike Saville]

I believe there are a lot of someone's for everyone, but sadly we live in such a disposable society that no-one ever feels the need to work at love and keep it special, and seem to be struggling to find off the shelf perfection without ever looking in the mirror... or conversely spend far too much time navel gazing that they're never out anywhere where love might be.