The Most Useless characters in Doctor Who

[SiHart]

Doctor Who is full of marvellous, well rounded characters that live on the memory after you've seen the story. Beloeved characters such as Professor Travers, Professor Rumford, Jago and Litefoot, Rev Wainwright... characters you believe in.

However, for each of them there's a whole lot who you never remember. Characters so perfunctory they appear on screen, and then disappear and you don't even miss them. Characters who add precisely nothing to the mythos of Doctor Who.

So who are the ones you don't remember, and why are they so bad?

[Rob McCow]

Can you even remember who this guy is?

[Jason Thompson]

Professor Kyle in Earthshock. She does nothing but whine. Her only function is the be the sole survivor of a gelogical survey party to lead the troops (and hence the viewers) back to where the action is, then she stays in the TARDIS, lends Tegan her overalls (to reveal she is wearing another set underneath!), then gets shot. This is probably because Saward ran out of things to do with her ages ago but couldn't think of a way to remove her from the story. Bizarrely, Nyssa reacts like a close friend has been killed, even requiring comforting from Lieutenant Scott, but has no feelings whatsoever about the poor trooper killed by a Cyberman seconds earlier. She's less visibly upset an episode later when Adric dies!

[Jason Thompson]

And that guy is Zorac, but he adds nothing to the plot of Arc of Infinity at all...

[WhiteCrowNZ]

Professor Kyle in Earthshock.

It's true, it probably could have been written that "we've lost all contact with a party of archaeologists" and written her effectively out completely ...

This is going to be controversial but ...



Did she honestly do anything in stories apart from whinge and occasionally get possessed. Surely a Dodo for the 80s ...

[Rob McCow]

I think Tegan improves dramatically (and dramatically) once she gets out of the air hostess uniform. 'I got the sack!' she laughs at the end of Arc of Infinity.

But without Tegan, Kinda wouldn't have gone anywhere. And how you can call Tegan useless when they've got Nyssa in the TARDIS seems a bit of an oversight!

Now Ludvic from The Keeper of Traken, he's pretty useless. He's the poncy member of the council, a bit like Zorac in fact - he's there to make up the numbers. He gets control of the Source at the end of the story, but seeing as Traken gets wiped out five episodes later it all seems rather pointless. So he is utterly useless but it's not really his fault.

[Larry]

Just finished watching episode 3 of Planet of the Spiders, which in it's self has to go down as one of the most bafflingly pointless episodes ever - but for useles pointless characters stand up the policeman who started to give chase to the the Brig in Bessy, who was giving chase to Lupton. Now that chase was pretty non sensicle any way and I can only assume that including the policemen and him saying a few lines was just to add a bit more padding to an already over padded story.

[Stuart Wallis]

I think Tegan improves dramatically (and dramatically) once she gets out of the air hostess uniform.

I defy our critics to read something into that! (I wouldn't mind seeing that episode myself, now I come to think of it!)

Katarina. "Right, you, girl - get Steven to the TARDIS, hang around for four episodes until this Joan Mars person turns up, then get yourself killed. Do you think you can do that? hmm?" Quite!

[Larry]

I
Katarina. "Right, you, girl - get Steven to the TARDIS, hang around for four episodes until this Joan Mars person turns up, then get yourself killed. Do you think you can do that? hmm?" Quite!

funnely enough I was going to mention her myself - a character that probably looked good on paper but as was said on the documentory on season 3 on the Gunfighters dvd not a character that was well thought out. But hey Katarina,got a damned better farewell story than Dodo.

[Lissa]

It's why I like him so much but Captain "Butch" Maitland from the Sensorites is pretty useless. You don't very often get a character like that who just stays behind on the space ship when every other character (holiday commitments aside) goes down to the planet. Obviously he filled his time on board the Wellington getting all the paperwork up to date and motivating the furniture but what we see of him on screen doesn't impress anyone.

[SiHart]

Councillor Zoarc inspired this thread. After an ill advised watching of Arc of Infinity which began somewhere around 2.30am on Sunday, we were stggered to discover that Cllr Zorac contributes precisely nothing to the High Council or indeed to Arc of Infinity itself.

What does he do? He doesn't have Tharlia's technical knowledge, isn't in charge of the guards like the Castellan, and he isn't the one you want to like despite being the traitor like Hedin. He's clearly only there to make up the numbers. In the end we decided he must be member of the High Council in charge of putting all the comfy sofas int eh corridors, because he does bugger all else of use. And indeed, once he's sent off into the Death Zone (and doesn't return), the sofas have all gone from Gallifreyan corridors. Coincidence? I think not.

[Ian Lethbridge-Stewart]

And indeed, once he's sent off into the Death Zone (and doesn't return), the sofas have all gone from Gallifreyan corridors. Coincidence? I think not.

I like your presumption that he's one of the two members of the High Council that "went into the zone"
Maybe that's his body we see in The Five Doctors?

I agree that he doesn't appear to do much but he's got one of those great loud fussy sounding voices - "What the Devil's going on Castellan? Guards crashing about; it's like a madhouse out there" - I used to hear that a lot in my youngers days as a small piece of Doctor Who that I had on audio.

I can say that Ant Cox and I did kind of use Zorac in our 'Tamaras' fan vid. Our Time Lord character (who you only ever hear rather than see) was called Councillor Karoz, which baring changing a 'c' into a 'k' was simply Zorac's name reversed!
One of my rather silly ideas I'm afraid; I am prone to them you know!

[Rob McCow]

In a way, I'm glad to hear that Councilor Zorac has been commemorated by somebody. It goes to show that even a minor, utterly useless character can have an impact.

Here's two characters who hardly brough about The End of Time Itself!

Minnie Hooper


Minnie was Mott's 'Girlfriend', but only in the preview material. In the actual End Of Time Itself (spit!) she was a kooky woman on a bus who's main role in the story was to pinch the Doctor's bum and to perk him up for his photo. It wouldn't matter too much, but they cast the wonderful June Whitfield in the role.

Perhaps it was intended to give Wilfred someone else to care about, but he doesn't even mention her in Part Two. Or anything.

Abigail Naismith

OK she gave her father someone to speak to, but that's about it!

You could describe her as 'enigmatic' and 'mysterious' - mainly because we don't find anything out about her.

Aside from that, the only thing I can possibly think of is that it gave a chance for John Simm to dress in major drag. But as a character herself - useless!

[Jason Thompson]

The Naismith's were not characters, they were plot hooks, a feeble explanation for the presence and operation of the 'immortality gate'.

[Rob McCow]

At least Daddy Naismith had some call to be there! He kidnapped the Master, he found the gate and he supplied the security guards and facilities. I wonder how he felt being The Master for a day?

[Logo Polish]

Minnie was Mott's 'Girlfriend', but only in the preview material. In the actual End Of Time Itself (spit!) she was a kooky woman on a bus who's main role in the story was to pinch the Doctor's bum and to perk him up for his photo. It wouldn't matter too much, but they cast the wonderful June Whitfield in the role.

Perhaps it was intended to give Wilfred someone else to care about, but he doesn't even mention her in Part Two. Or anything.

If talking to someone counts as mentioning them, he does, because she's at Donna's wedding, where she flirts with Wilf and he tells her to behave.

[brandynigma]

Don't get me started on those damn sofas again!

The technician at the beginning of Rise of the Cybermen. Yes, he's there to show us that the Cybermen are a threat- but wouldn't it have been so much more powerful when they attacked later if new viewers DIDN'T know they were a threat?

And don't say "At least we got to hear FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE!" Just don't.

[Antony Cox]

In a way, I'm glad to hear that Councilor Zorac has been commemorated by somebody. It goes to show that even a minor, utterly useless character can have an impact.

It really was a tribute, as Caroz was pretty useless too!

[Ian Lethbridge-Stewart]

It really was a tribute, as Caroz was pretty useless too!

[brandynigma]

The pilot in The Horns of Nimon.

Just what purpose does his death, or even his presence, serve? He give Co-Pilot Ham someone to talk to- that's it. Could have easily been a computer voice.

[SiHart]

He's just there to get killed really, isn't he? There's a whole swathe of characters who exist in Doctor Who stories for that purpose alone. Yet his death doesn't mean anything, it just is there because we don't really get to know him or anything about him.

[Logo Polish]

He's also there as someone to argue with the co-pilot, who wants to travel as fast as possible, even to the extent of cutting corners, whereas the pilot is more cautious and his argument is later proved right when the ship does indeed get damaged. It'd be more difficult to convey that with a computer voice, as it would probably just accept whatever instructions the co-pilot gave it, and we wouldn't get any sense that he was so desperate to finish the voyage that he'd risk the ship for it. If he was on his own, it'd just be a man giving instructions to a computer, and we'd have no idea whether he was travelling at a reasonable speed, or how important any of this was to him.

[Larry]

He's just there to get killed really, isn't he? There's a whole swathe of characters who exist in Doctor Who stories for that purpose alone.

so that's pretty much every UNIT soldier then..