Torchwood's Daftest Moments!

[Rob McCow]

For all its attempts to deal with adult issues (such as being possessed by an alien orgasm-monster) Torchwood has more than its fair share of daft moments (such as being possessed by an alien orgasm-monster). Charlie Brooker famously described it as being like "a hitherto secret episode of Postman Pat in which Pat runs down 15 villagers while masturbating at the wheel of his van".

Even the gloriously intense 'Children Of Earth' featured Ianto Jones rescuing Captain Jack from a concrete tomb by breaking into the bad guys' base, ram-raiding Jack's concrete cell and then dropping the block off a cliff edge in a quarry.

The new series 'Miracle Day' isn't immune either. Whether the team are being chased in their Mini Cooper by a broken-necked woman who's head is on backwards, or randomly quoting Middlemarch by George Elliot, the weirdness just keeps on coming.

So let's "go down like Tosh" and celebrate Torchwood's most far-out, wacky and zany moments!

[Si Hunt]

"I love the way you smile... I love the things you do... I love the face you make when you cum."

Si.

[SiHart]

The whole of Cyberwomen would be a good choice I feel.

And the whole stupid big fight episode with Capt Hart at the start of series 2.

And burying Jack for 1000 years.

And. And. And...

[Si Hunt]

You really don't like Torchwood at the moment do you Si?

Si.

[SiHart]

At the moment? I'm not sure I've ever really liked it all that much.

There's so much potential in the idea but they never quite seem to capitalise on it all. It just gets to me that it should be brilliant, but instead more often than not its crass and stupid or rubbish or all of them together.

[Zbigniev Hamson]

Making such a big point about how humans aren't just dying, but they've become so super-alive that they can't even lose consciousness no matter what you do to them. Then in the next episode (or next but one) introducing the concept of category 1 patients (or was it 3) who are all unresponsive and unconscious.

Although there's still time for them to explain that one I suppose

[Dino]

Where did she get the motorbike from?
Wait... where did she get the leathers from?
Hang on! EXPLOSIVES next to people who aren't dying?

And then I took a deep breath and remembered... it's Torchwood!

[Zbigniev Hamson]

Why did she do a doughnut on the bike for no reason? (if that's what they're called on bikes)

Why is filming a warehouse exploding from the outside any sort of evidence for what's going on inside?

[WhiteCrowNZ]

"When we woke up a dog was pissing on the tent" That is all ...

[Rob McCow]

Miracle Day: Episode One The New World

The whole sequence from the moment that Captain Jack turns up at Gwen and Rhys's house on the beach is gloriously daft. Earmuffs on the baby, missile launcher on the back seat of the jeep, daft, daft, daft.

Why on earth did they bother ret-conning Esther? It made sense from Jack's point of view I suppose, but in story terms it means she has to meet Jack twice. And why was the guy sent to kill them armed with a machine gun and a suicide bomb?

[Andrew Curnow]

Who even was the guy sent to kill them?

I'm sticking with Torchwood at the moment, and will doubtless watch till the end - but I agree with Si that it could/should be so much better as a series than it is. It's a great concept, but...