Some Random Questions For Friday

[Trudi G]

1. How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?

2. If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?

3. If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the centre of the earth?

4. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

5. Do penguins have knees?

6. If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy?

7. You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with no trousers? Would the restaurant still have to serve them?

8. Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on?

9. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialised?

10. How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up?

[Paul Monk]

Nice questions Trudi. And I actually know the answer to one of them so I'll answer it later if I get time.

[Si Hunt]

1. How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?

70, I reckon.

2. If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?

Yes, as anyone who went to see "Star Trek: Nemesis" can probably deduce. It was a close call!

3. If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the centre of the earth?

Yes, by a process of logical deduction. You own it part way down (because it is yours to plant things in) but there is no 'depth' limit, therefore you must own it all the way down.

4. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Is it something to do with it being airtight? If the cap was left off, it would stick.

5. Do penguins have knees?

No?

6. If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy?

No, why would it? You are simply releasing gas from both ends at once.

7. You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with no trousers? Would the restaurant still have to serve them?

I've never seen such a sign. But the answer is no - most restaurants probably don't tolerate you setting light to badgers while on the premises. But because there is no sign, doesn't mean they'd let you do it.

8. Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on?

Of course. Don't we all?

9. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialised?

Because one kids oneself that a nice big chocolate bar will have been bought and forgotton about.

10. How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up?

I guess there are some things about being a child you need to keep hold of, and some things you need to forget.

Si.

[Rob McCow]

1. How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?
You could be 120 and still fall over in the bath and die.

2. If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?
Yes, but they show the Hungarian version.

3. If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the centre of the earth?
No! That's utterly stupid. You don't own part of the London Underground if you own a field over a tunnel!

4. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Because it hasn't set yet.

5. Do penguins have knees?
Yeah, just not very developed ones.

6. If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy?
Yes and you E-X-P-L-O-D-E! So don't do it!

7. You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with no trousers? Would the restaurant still have to serve them?
Scottish people get served all the time, even in Kilts. (sorry Scotland).

8. Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on?
No! Why?

9. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialised?
Do they?

10. How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up?
Because it's about control.

[Carol Baynes]

1. How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?

Haven't a clue. It depends how healthy your body is I suppose and keeping your age number secret helps. The human race is so easily fooled by appearances, and making sure people don't judge you on the basis of your age is a good thing I think. Keep them wondering. Who knows- you might forget too, and then where will you be? You might forget to die!

2. If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?

I'll ask next time I'm at the pictures, if I remember. Which is unlikely, but I will ask if I do!

3. If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the centre of the earth?

Probably not, no. I think that usually just goes for the bit above the rock.


4. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Because it's a liquid and there's so much of it I would say. Once you get to the last dregs of glue, then you 'll have a problem. I'm tempted to be really condecending at this moment...but...must...resist...

5. Do penguins have knees?

All birds have knees, but they are often hidden under the feathers.

6. If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy?

NOooo (to be said in Tom Baker "Logopolis" voice )

7. You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with no trousers? Would the restaurant still have to serve them?

I think getting served would be the least of your problems if you went into any restaurant without trousers. Why do these questions sound American?? Not sure exactly what I mean by that...

8. Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on?

NOoooo (again! )


9. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialised?

I return to the fridge to have another look at what I've got, which is what most people do I would think. Unless there are people out there with shorter memories and bigger imaginations!

10. How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up

Beacause they don't know any better.

[Ralph]

1. How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?
When you think you know everything about anything and are a general pain in the butt then thats the age...

2. If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?
Sure it would be politically incorrect otherwise - there may be minority groups like ghosts in the audience plus some people like to come in half way through for a snog up the back.

3. If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the centre of the earth?
Too right they do! If you fancy a bit of drilling to the earth's core why not?

4. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
I haven't got a clue - why would I want to try it?

5. Do penguins have knees?
I don't think so, they simple wobble don't they so I reckon they must be kneeless.

6. If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy?
I haven't got a clue, I was brought up proper me.

7. You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with no trousers? Would the restaurant still have to serve them?
Seems only right but only girls mind

8. Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on?
Yes with a hat or a tie.

9. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialised?
Because they can't be arsed shopping...

10. How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up?
Thats people for you!

[Andrew Curnow]

1. How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?
Ten years older than I am now. That will always be the answer.

2. If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?
Yes they do; but based on the 'tree falling in a forest' principle, they don't bother with the soundtrack, as there's nobody there to hear it.

3. If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the centre of the earth?
No, only down as far as the green ooze. Primord slime and Stahlmann's gas are both properties of the crown.

4. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Is it something to do with quantum physics? Maybe there's a dead/not-dead cat in there keeping it off the sides?

5. Do penguins have knees?
No, just chocolate and crunchy biscuit. I don't think they'd be as popular with actual limbs in them - euch.

6. If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy?
With authority, I can say no it doesn't. It does attract some scathing looks though.

7. You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with no trousers? Would the restaurant still have to serve them?
Only on the condition that nobody makes any 'leaving a tip' jokes during the evening.

8. Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on?
No, just pin-ups of fig leaves arranged at jaunty angles.


9. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialised?
It's the power of TV - people keep confusing the humble fridge with one of those replicator things from Star Trek.

10. How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up?
That's just the way it is. Some things'll never change. Etc.

[Trudi G]

some people like to come in half way through for a snog up the back

Where's that then?

[Paul Monk]

I once went to see a late night horror film and there were a couple behind me actually having sex! It was very off putting. I could hardly hear the soundtrack!

And the funniest thing was halfway through the girl said, "You really know where to put it on a first date!"
I struggled not to laugh.

[Si Hunt]

It sounds like the sort of classy thing that would happen in Harlow.

Si.

[Paul Monk]

This was the Odeon Panton St off Piccadilly and the film was the remake of House on Haunted Hill!