Putting Away Childish Things

[Captain Tancredi]

Just thought I'd put this up so I can share onr two things I'm thinking through and wondering whether anybody else has ever done the same.

At the moment I seem to be going through a phase with regards to Doctor Who which is similar to what happened in my late teens when I started reading "real" books before studying English at university. In that it's just not so much of a priority as it used to be- although in the past I used to dream of the day when I'd have my own place and could watch whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, I suppose it's become increasingly repetitive and hollow. And it doesn't fit in with where I want to go.

If I look at how much Who-time I have over the average week, I watch one 25-minute episode per day while I'm on the exercise bike plus one Target at the weekend. Over the course of the average month I'll probably also read one or two original Who novels. In order to do that, I maintain a collection which takes up a hell of a lot of my living space. Some six months ago I also finished watching the 1963-1989 run in order and realised that if that took me roughly four years, with the new DVD schedule I could sell on my existing VHS collection (except for a few special favourites) and by the time I'd finished watching everything all over again, half the stories would have come out on DVD in the meantime.

But looking to the future- I need more in my life, and I'm not going to find it doing what I'm doing. With all respect to the women of PS, any and all of whom are worthy of far more than I could ever give them, it's unlikely that Who will provide me with my life partner (although I'm prepared to be proven wrong, girls!) and while it's been an ongoing interest for some 26 years, perhaps it's time to put it back in the box and aim for something else.

[WhiteCrow]

Dunno

My advice to you is it's all about getting a balance right. Sounds like you're not too wacky on Who - yes you watch an episode a day, but to fill in whilst using an exercise bike which most people find pretty boring. I love biking, hate exercise bikes!

I have a wife of 11 years who is no sci-fi fan, but she knows I am. She has her soaps which I cannot stand. Its all about getting a balance between you. Have time for each other, and time for separate interests, but don't let anything get too obsessive. When a girl says she doesn't like Hartnell cos it's in black and white, bite your tongue. Keep perspective, it's a TV show you like and not a religion.

With that in mind most women will tolerate it to some degree.

Have you ever watched Free Enterprise? It's partly about a Star Trek fan trying to go through dating ...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_Enterprise_%28film%29

Claire: When are you going to start living in the present instead of the 24th century?
Robert: I would never live in the 24th century! I f**king hate The Next Generation! Only classic!

[Pip Madeley]

I can see why you feel like you do - watching an episode of Doctor Who a day would lead to total burnout for me. I've never attempted to watch it in order, and I don't think I ever could, it'd be overkill. I go through periods where I immerse myself in it, and afterwards I won't watch it for weeks and weeks. These periods of fanboyish activity come about when the new episodes appear and everything's exciting, so I get back into it, but after it's all over for the year, I distance myself a little.

It's always part of my life, it always will be, but I don't let it become my life. There's too many other things to like, see and do! I guess I'm lucky that my missus likes the show (she's a casual fan, enjoys watching it from time to time, hell she was watching it before I was born, haha!). I guess I'm not as intense with it as other fans are (I don't read the Targets/Virgin/BBC novels and *very rarely* listen to BF audios), I just buy DWM and watch the TV episodes occasionally.

Selling your VHS tapes sounds like a good idea, you'll make some money on them too... I've been doing that, although I've been backing everything up on DVDs - a fun project that fills a spare few hours when I get bored, and they save a lot of space...



Sexy aren't they.

Find a happy medium. Don't give up on it though - you've got 13 new episodes in the coming months, you can't afford to!

[Ralph]

But looking to the future- I need more in my life, and I'm not going to find it doing what I'm doing. With all respect to the women of PS, any and all of whom are worthy of far more than I could ever give them, it's unlikely that Who will provide me with my life partner (although I'm prepared to be proven wrong, girls!) and while it's been an ongoing interest for some 26 years, perhaps it's time to put it back in the box and aim for something else.

I totally agree there's a lot more to life than simply DW - I lived without it for 25 years or so. I agree with Whitecrow it's just a case of striking a balance.
Watching/reading less of it may make it more special when you do come back to it.

[Captain Tancredi]

Thinking on about it, a couple of things spring to mind. Firstly, thinking back to when I became "this" interested in Who again, it was the mid to late 1990s, at a time when I'd just left teacher training and was floating between jobs, so it's probably natural that I should throw myself into something familiar in my own time. As it happened, it coincided with the merchandising being revamped and aimed more at the pocket and time of the adult fan, so one thing led to another although how anybody has time to have a job and absorb everything that comes out is beyond me.

Secondly, part of the rationale behind getting rid of the VHS is to give myself a hunger for certain stories when they come out again on DVD. As a first step I'm going down to a core of stories that I really can't live without- which will enable me to throw out my old Argos flat pack video unit and replace it with some proper shelves, on which I can put some of the books which are stacked in piles on the floor. I'm very conscious at the moment that if I'm going to put things in order and get things on track again, there's a lot of things that I need to do about myself and my living space.

[SiHart]

Like any interest, it's easy to let it take over your life. I think I've done my overkill days- which might well terrify Steve- the ones where I;d watch the show most days, always have a Who book on the go, listen to the CDs etc, and I came out the other side, because there were other things to do. Doctor Who is very good for plugging the gaps in your life when you haven't got much else to do, but its best to never let it take over.

I'm quite moderate these days, though I do like to have a little overdose every so often!

Si xx

[WhiteCrow]

Thinking on about it, a couple of things spring to mind. Firstly, thinking back to when I became "this" interested in Who again, it was the mid to late 1990s, at a time when I'd just left teacher training and was floating between jobs, so it's probably natural that I should throw myself into something familiar in my own time.

Bleedin' hell it's like coming face to face with a mirror universe version of yourself.

I know I'll get the s*** kicked out of me for saying that on this site (too Star Trek), so I'll just add the random word "Inferno" to justify it.

[MacNimon]

I'd agree that it's just a matter of getting the balance right. I consider myself a fan of cult tv series in general, rather than Doctor Who in particular; my wife isn't generally a fan of this sort of stuff at all (so she says!) but prefers her soaps, medical dramas and detective series etc. It's a matter of trying to take an interest in what other people enjoy rather than force your tastes onto others...these days I find myself watching things like Neighbours and Emmerdale etc, things I would never have watched before I met my wife. It works both ways, though...she enjoys the new Doctor Who (and she wouldn't even have given it a look if it wasn't for me) among other things.

The thing is, if she's not in I never watch Neighbours; if I'm not in, she never watches The Avengers or whatever, so we're casual viewers rather than fans. But we both compromise easily, as long as we can both enjoy whatever we're watching. There's also a line that won't be crossed...if she doesn't expect me to watch Eastenders, I won't expect her to watch Star Trek. There are limits to how far the compromising goes...

[Ralph]

I know I'll get the s*** kicked out of me for saying that on this site (too Star Trek), so I'll just add the random word "Inferno" to justify it.

Oh I don't know...Star Trek TOS is up there with the Who golden age

[Paul Monk]

Oh I don't know...Star Trek TOS is up there with the Who golden age

I agree

You can have too much Who. I have felt quite burnt out by it lately and very rarely watch my videos. Luckily I have whats called a loft so my Who videos will be going up there shortly, mainly to give William a wardrobe.
And Ian its ok to still like Who, just take a break from it and not watch it so religiously. As everyone else has said, finding a good compromise is the solution. In fact in any relationship compromise is the key. If one or neither of you is prepared to do that then the relationship probably won't work.
Jody hates sci-fi and fantasy stuff (as most people will know) but even she dabbles in the new series every now and then. And it was her that got into Harry Potter .

[Ralph]

Indeed there's no reason why one shouldn't be bold on these boards for one's adoration of one the finest series ever to grace our television screens!

[Si Hunt]

I don't see why you should give up Doctor Who just because you think you won't find a "fan" girlfriend. Will you expect her to give up her interests? Or are you, by any chance, willing to share them with her occasionally?

Even though we are both fans anyway, we don't face burnout because we have so many other things to watch - so we only watch a story occasionally when we feel like it.

Si.

[Ian Lethbridge-Stewart]

Just wanted to echo what everyone else has said. Oksana will watch the new series of 'Who' with me and will occasionally ask to see an episode from the classic series, but she's by no means a serious fan like me. To compromise I watch lots of detective shows, which she likes (mind you I quite like them too). I also endure Cartoon Network (she won't thank me for posting that on here) It is about compromise.
In my case Doctor Who is a big part of my life (maybe not as big a part as it once was, but still a biggish part), but as White Crow said right at the start of this thread you have to put it in perspective - it is, when all is said and done, a television program - a very, very good one, but still a TV show.
If you start to spend more and more of your time watching TV (or reading the books etc) than you do with your partner, then IMO you would have to stop and take another look at your priorities.
If you really care for someone then I would say that you should be enjoying your life with that person, sharing interests, going out, having a laugh and a jolly good time, and shouldn't be spending more of your time worrying about why the Doctor's boots regenerate into shoes at the start of Castrovalva!!!

If you are thinking about a future partner then saying that you like Doctor Who shouldn't put someone off you (if they really like you too then they will accept that everyone has their own interests). As someone has already said so long as you don't force Doctor Who (or whatever) on someone (by for example constantly referring to it or always watching it, even when it clashes with something they want to do) then you should be ok.
Last year I missed the first three episodes of Who as I was in Ukraine with Oksana - in years past this would have been a major sacrafice for me and I would be constantly worrying about what I was missing, or worse I would have stayed in the UK!!! - thankfully as I now think I've got the wife/Who balance right it wasn't a problem (incidentally notice I put wife first when I said 'wife/Who' balance)!!!

Anyway that's enough waffle I've got work to do.......incidentally why do the Doctor's boots regenerate into shoes.............enough Andrew stop that now!!!!

[Captain Tancredi]

I don't see why you should give up Doctor Who just because you think you won't find a "fan" girlfriend. Will you expect her to give up her interests? Or are you, by any chance, willing to share them with her occasionally?

That wasn't really what I was getting at, Si- I'm finally starting to break out of the holding pattern I've been in for the last ten years, and part of that has been a reliance on a few familiar props- Who being one, and a tendency to over-structure my life being another. Neither am I giving up Who- I only watch it while I'm on the exercise bike anyway, so it isn't wasted time and I'd only be watching something else. Where you're probably right is that (because of the situation when I was growing up) subconsciously I probably expect to have to give up everything for my future life partner and let her dictate everything, because that's more or less what my dad did, but I have more of a desire to explore now so I simply don't need all this paraphernalia around me. I'm throwing away a crutch, not packing it in forever.

[Carol Baynes]

You worry. Too much.

I didn't watch Who for absolutely ages. Recently I've ben watching it every day. I watched eight episodes tonight!

I don't do things by halves....so best not listen to me for advice. I just do what I feel like! I recommend it!

[WhiteCrow]

Indeed there's no reason why one shouldn't be bold on these boards for one's adoration of one the finest series ever to grace our television screens!

Voyager???

[Si Hunt]

Quiet you.

Si.