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  1. 11th Jul 2015, 4:37 PM #601
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    Who picks up guide dog poo?
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  2. 13th Jul 2015, 12:11 PM #602
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    Wayne
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    Sick of seeing that silly Money Supermarket.com ad.
    It's been going for months!
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  3. 13th Jul 2015, 2:35 PM #603
    Stuart Wallis
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    According to the law of averages, that firm might actually make a reasonably viewable ad.
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  4. 16th Jul 2015, 3:15 PM #604
    Stuart Wallis
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    The latest incredible scheme to make Essex libraries pay their way - today we had a visit from a camera crew recording an ad for the Health Lottery. Of course Ebenezer Wallis cashed in on it: pay £1000 and you get the celeb on the ad back. And since it was Anthea Turner, pay £5000 and you don't...
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  5. 13th Aug 2015, 4:19 PM #605
    Stuart Wallis
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    Aunt Dolly went to see the doctor the other day - she goes twice a week whether she's suffering from anything or not.

    "Mrs. Oddbucket," says the doctor, "it's my professional opinion that you only come here because you suffer from hypochondria."

    "Don't be daft" he replied, "it's the only thing I haven't suffered from!"
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  6. 14th Aug 2015, 6:44 PM #606
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    Hehehe
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  7. 3rd Oct 2015, 4:17 PM #607
    Stuart Wallis
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    The woman serving behind the counter in the supermarket today was battling bravely despite having the lurgi that's doing the rounds at the moment. She had a sign attached to the till reading "Hello, I've lost my voice."

    One customer asked "Where did you last have it?" She was asked to leave in no uncertain terms and red ink.
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  8. 6th Oct 2015, 11:33 PM #608
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    Richard Brinck-Johnsen
    Richard Brinck-Johnsen is offline Don't you know who I am?!
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    And I'm finally back on tapatalk after being kicked out by an update.
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  9. 7th Oct 2015, 4:23 PM #609
    Stuart Wallis
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    Not that i understand a word of that, but welcome back.
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  10. 9th Oct 2015, 2:44 PM #610
    Stuart Wallis
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    They're changing the guards at Buckingham Palace
    Since Batman ad Robin made advances with malice.
    Wonder Womn broke down in tears
    When the judge gave each of them ninety years
    Says Alice.
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  11. 27th Oct 2015, 3:41 PM #611
    Stuart Wallis
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    Christmas should be in February, when the shops are less crowded.
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  12. 27th Oct 2015, 4:19 PM #612
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    I started the day by having my throat x-rayed.

    I've just got my handcuffs and my truncheon and that's enough.
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  13. 28th Oct 2015, 3:21 PM #613
    Stuart Wallis
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    Nothing serious I hope!
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  14. 28th Oct 2015, 3:55 PM #614
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    Not as it turned out, thank goodness!

    I've just got my handcuffs and my truncheon and that's enough.
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  15. 29th Oct 2015, 1:27 PM #615
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    Good news.
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  16. 29th Oct 2015, 2:53 PM #616
    Stuart Wallis
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    Just as well...
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  17. 5th Nov 2015, 12:08 PM #617
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    Testing testing 123...

    Sent from my XT1032 using Tapatalk
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  18. 5th Nov 2015, 12:09 PM #618
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wayne View Post
    Testing testing 123...

    Sent from my XT1032 using Tapatalk
    Ooer! It worked!

    Sent from my XT1032 using Tapatalk
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  19. 5th Nov 2015, 12:21 PM #619
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    Congratulations ladies and Gentlemen

    Wayne has made it on to the Internet!




    Assume you're going to Win
    Always have an Edge
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  20. 5th Nov 2015, 12:53 PM #620
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    Lol have now got one of these new fangled phone things. Always wondered what Tapatalk was.

    Sent from my XT1032 using Tapatalk
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  21. 5th Nov 2015, 1:02 PM #621
    Dino
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    Who travels in time and space ending relationships with people?

    Doctor Through.

    Ahem. *tumbleweed
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  22. 5th Nov 2015, 3:23 PM #622
    Stuart Wallis
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    What is the name of the time-travelling vet at Whipsnade?

    Doctor Zoo.

    You see, that's how to make really awful jokes!
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  23. 11th Nov 2015, 3:02 PM #623
    Stuart Wallis
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    I'm all for free love - after all, paying for it's illegal...
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  24. 5th Jan 2016, 4:36 PM #624
    Stuart Wallis
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    And now it's over to our woman on the spot, Helena Handbasket, for the latest on the January sales.

    "Yes Brian, here I am at the top people's store, Horridds, where the owners have just announcet 50 per cent off for the whole of January, with a further 20 percent reduction on the first ten days of February. Now, back to the studio."
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  25. 7th Jan 2016, 2:53 PM #625
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    "We carried out a post mortem. We found something under her fingernails..."

    "What did you find?"

    "Her fingers."
    Pity. I have no understanding of the word. It is not registered in my vocabulary bank. EXTERMINATE!
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