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  1. #651
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    In other news, Stavros Mountbatten, the well-known Duke of Edinburgh, has announced his retirement from public life, to take effect in the autumn.

    "The wife told me to shut up," he explained, "so I decided to take her advice."

    "A mere seventy years too late," stated an anonymous Prince of Wales.

    He will be spending his spare time returning to his hobbies of shooting endangered species; driving down the Mall in a motorised bath chair waving an egg whisk and a sink plunger; and yelling "Remember 1966, Fritz!" and "Yanks go home!" at passing tourists.

    Stuart Wallis, royal reporter for the Planet Skaro website, said, "If Price Harry doesn't start speaking cobblers, or if the Duke of York doesn't get himself into more deep trouble, there goes my act!"

  2. #652

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    Remember how Diana was a comedy punchline (in Drop the Dead Donkey among others) before she died but "even wankers turn into top blokes after death" to quote the Chaser?

  3. #653
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    Thinking of certain reality show contestants, and I'm thinking of several who haven't necessarily died, this is sadly true.

  4. #654
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    Here is the news. On Friday, Philip Hammond, the chancellor of the Exchequer, was criticised by train drivers for his views on the job - "even women can do it*". He has since declined to comment on saving the universe.

    *-Front page of the Sun newspaper, 15/7/2017

  5. #655
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    And in today's news, this year's annual Heisenberg Uncertainty Principal Appreciation Society convention has had to be cancelled because those who knew when it was couldn't remember where it was being held - except for an elderly scientist who has no idea why he'd turned up. Luckily, he was treated to a special guest appearance and non-appearance by Schroedinger's Cat.

  6. #656

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    Apologies if there is a Fanbase of the show on here but BIG BROTHER apparently axed due to low ratings!
    Mind you they'll probably put on something even worse. Channel 5 isn't it?
    Probably more time for a "PEOPLE ON BENEFITS ARE SCUM AND SHOULD BE GASSED" marathon.
    I remember it used to show Lexx. That was great. They even showed Wentworth until stuff started happening that made them go "Yikes! We better kick this further down to the channels to 5AlsoRans so we can show our new reality show The Bottom Inspectors".

    Or something.

  7. #657
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    Big brother... Big Brother... Oh I remember that! Never did have time for it then, but I remember the relief I felt when C4 dropped it - and the bewilderment when C5 picked it up despite C4 dropping it for exactly the same reason they're getting rid of it now. (Before anyone picks up on it, C4 passed live cricket coverage to C5, and then they dropped it soon afterwards, but for different reasons - Sky offered more money for the rights. I'd have said Murdoch would have done the same for Big Brother, and welcome to it!)

  8. #658
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    It's occurred to me that Peter Capaldi was vaguely Pertweeish in his portrayal of the Doctor - his bouffant grew as time went on...

  9. #659
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    COFFEE!!!! I'm living on coffee.


    That is all.

  10. #660
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    That explains a lot!

  11. #661
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    Indeed Monitor, Indeed.

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