God's Grandson?

[Rob McCow]

From The Register...

Hollywood giant James Cameron has set himself his biggest challenge yet rewriting the bible after discovering that Jesus sired a son before being buried outside Jerusalem.

Cameron claims to have found the, now empty, tomb of one Jesua, son of Joseph. The sepulchre also apparently contained the bodies of Mary. As well as another Mary, Matthew and Jofa, and most spectacularly, Jonah, son of Jesua.

Cameron will claim in a documentary on the Discovery Channel next month that Jesua is also known as Jesus yes that one and that this particular first century household is better know to Christians as The Holy Family.

This will be spectacular news as readers of the New Testament have tended to think that after rising from the dead, Jesus ascended to heaven where he is seated at the right hand of the father. The father in question being not Joseph, but God himself.

Equally shocking, at least to anyone who doesnt buy their reading matter in airports, will be the news that Jesus fathered a son, when he was supposed to have spent his short life performing miracles, redeeming sinful mankind and generally fulfilling his divine mission.

But dont worry, Cameron has the whole story well tied down.

Apparently the tomb was found 20 years ago, and it has taken this long to decipher the names and to confirm the identities using DNA analysis.

This timelag is just a blink of the eye in biblical terms, and is totally understandable given that Jesus was the son of God, and pinning down supreme beings to get a cheek swab is never easy.

So, despite 4 historical documents that are regarded as comparatively 'reliable' for being 2,000 years old, there are still those who want to re-write the basic tennets of Christianity. Has James Cameron (of all people!) found the truth at last, or is this another conspiracy of conspiracies? Those who have read The Da Vinci Code will know that Jesus had a sister, so just how large was his extended family? And if it is the tomb of Jesus, how come they spelt his name wrong?

[Alex]

Hmmmm...I find this all a little dubious...I mean, how does the dna side of things work?

Though I did find out about this on wikipedia - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_Prepuce

Perhaps Cameron got hold of that so he could do the dna comparison.

And if it is the tomb of Jesus, how come they spelt his name wrong?

Dyslexia?

Ahem.

Well surely it has been around since the beginnings of the written word...

[Paul Monk]

Cameron will claim in a documentary on the Discovery Channel next month that Jesua is also known as Jesus – yes that one – and that this particular first century household is better know to Christians as “The Holy Family”.

Sounds like a sitcom to me. The Holy Family.
What a loads of dingoes kidneys. I bet James Cameron will have a film out about it soon. And Jesus was a randy sort wasn't he?

[Larry]

Sounds like a sitcom to me. The Holy Family.
What a loads of dingoes kidneys. I bet James Cameron will have a film out about it soon. And Jesus was a randy sort wasn't he?

and if he dose you just know it won't be half as good as Monty Pythons Life of Brian..

[Anthony Williams]

I'm waiting for the conspiracy theories about James Cameron to be re-ignited...

Ant x

[Jason Thompson]

Apparently the tomb was found 20 years ago, and it has taken this long to decipher the names and to confirm the identities using DNA analysis.

You've gotta love this. There's a popular media misconception that you can bung any old DNA sample into a machine and it will print out the name of the person that DNA belonged to. It's all a load of cobblers.

DNA analysis confirms(ish) familial relationships, or it will confirm (-ish, again)that two samples are from the same person, but that's about all. So 20 years of DNA testing might have shown the people to all be related, but who they are is anyone's guess. Unless someone just happens to have some DNA samples taken from Jesus 2000 years ago....

[Si Hunt]

Surely he'd have special DNA if he was a (the) virgin birth.

Si.

[Dirk Gently]

I just thought I'd mention that the name Jesus was actually a very common name, as was Joseph, Mary, James, Matthew & Jonah.
And like Jason says, how the hell is DNA supposed to help if you don't have anything to compare it to?

[Jason Thompson]

Depends if God just didled with Mary's chromosomes a bit or gave her some super God type DNA.

But in the absence of any reference sample, how would anyone know?

[Jason Thompson]

And if it is the tomb of Jesus, how come they spelt his name wrong?

Well, the 'a' and 's' keys are right next to each other....

[Stuart Wallis]

So, talk of Jesus' descendents then.

Well it has been done before...

[cullsoft]

I thought we'd finally got over the whole Da Vinci Code obsession.

I need a rock to crawl under.

[Captain Tancredi]

I just thought I'd mention that the name Jesus was actually a very common name, as was Joseph, Mary, James, Matthew & Jonah.
And like Jason says, how the hell is DNA supposed to help if you don't have anything to compare it to?

"Jesus" is, if I remember by Bible notes correctly, the same name in Hebrew as "Joshua"- the name means "God saves".

DNA is particularly curious when dealing with the archaeology of the Holy Land, because the Jews of the Bible were all descended from the Twelve Tribes, and thus from Jacob. I don't know if it's true today, but with the laws in the Torah against marrying out, I'd be surprised if the DNA of any Jewish person 2000 years ago could be made to prove much at all.

[Doctor Vendetta]

And if it is the tomb of Jesus, how come they spelt his name wrong?

The name "Jesus" is an Anglicization of the Greek Iesous, itself believed to be a transliteration of the Hebrew Yehoshua or Aramaic Yeshua.

The actual name of the rabbi who came out of Galilee, held the Sermon on the Mount, drove the moneychangers out of the Temple, and was crucified on Golgotha was probably Yehoshua ben Yosef.

[Captain Tancredi]

The actual name of the rabbi who came out of Galilee, held the Sermon on the Mount, drove the moneychangers out of the Temple, and was crucified on Golgotha was probably Yehoshua ben Yosef.

Try saying that out loud the next time you get a steep gas bill...

[Doctor Vendetta]

Try saying that out loud the next time you get a steep gas bill...

Probably explains why it never caught on...

[Carol Baynes]

Don't get me started on the 'virgin birth'. What a load of garbage. There have been a lot of lies concocted over the years, but taking sex out of the equatoin is laughable. Women can't enjoy loving sexual intercourse can they- especially not the mother of Jesus?!

Jesus was (in my belief) an exceptionally enlightened man who chose a specific bith chaneel for that time and place. Joseph was his father, I would imagine.
Jeses was no more a son or daughter of God than any of us (which we all are). It's just some of us have a longer way to go to where Jesus was at at. The fact that that is still seen as a blasphemous thing to say shows how well the dogma is ingrained.

As for Cameron and these new findings, I have to agree with Jason. What evidence is there that this was Jesus' family??

[Paul Monk]

I didn't read the article but there was a column written by some vicar in The Sun today that had the head line "We'll be finding Jesus' ipod next" which amused me.

[Stuart Wallis]

What a good idea... I mean if James Cameron and all his medaeval predecessors who sold enough bits of The True Cross to build Neasden could get away with it...

[Nathan]

The actual name of the rabbi who came out of Galilee, held the Sermon on the Mount, drove the moneychangers out of the Temple, and was crucified on Golgotha was probably Yehoshua ben Yosef.

Cat Stevens????

[Doctor Vendetta]

Cat Stevens????

If he is, then he's got a lot of explaining to do.